2008-08-18T20:00:00.001+08:00

GLASS SLIDE (1Box-72 pcs.)
60.00
COVER SLIP (1Box-100pcs)
40.00
Jr. Dissecting Kit Plastic (7 pcs.)
120.00
Jr. Dissecting Kit Stainless (7 pcs.)
150.00
Sr. Dissecting Kit (14 pcs)
320.00
Sr. Dissecting Kit (16 pcs.)
610.00
Slide Box (Capicity: 25)
50.00
Slide Box (Capacity: 50)
100.00
Slide Box (Capacity: 100)
120.00
Lab Gown
170.00
Goggles
35.00
Gloves (non-sterile:1pair)
5.00
Face Mask
6.00
Utility Box (Plastic Box)
150.00
Name Plate
130.00
Package 1: Glass Slide, Cover Slip, Jr. Dissecting Kit Stainless, Lab Gown, Goggles, gloves, mask
(recommended for 1st & 2nd yr)
420.00
(Save: 46.00)
Package 2: Glass Slide, Cover Slip, Sr. Dissecting Kit (14 pcs), Slide Box 50, Utility Box, gloves, mask (recommended for 3rd yr)
610.00
(Save: 71.00)

In lab ka ba? O nalab at first sight ka na ba sa FX? Haha.

2008-07-22T12:56:00.004+08:00

Nakaranas ka na ba, bilang isang tunay na lalaki na kiligin habang may gwapong nakaupo sa harapan mo sa isang FX? Oha oha. Panis kayo dun. At habang magkatapat kayo sa FX, unti-unting umaakyat ang dugo sa iyong mga pisngi, hindi ka mapalagay, hindi mo mapagtanto ang kaguluhang naglalaro sa utak mo. Para kang nililinlang ng kasarian mo. Parang iniiwan ka ng pagkalalaki mo. Parang bigla lamang itong naglahong parang bula.

Pero 'di nga? Naranasan niyo na ba yun? Hindi ko naman sinasabing may pag-aalinlangan ka sa iyong kasarian, yun bang biglaan lang na, "wow, tol, wow, ang gwapo niya". Yun tipong hindi mo alam kung inggit ang iyong nararamdaman o tru lab.

Oha, oha, oha. True to life yan, from a friend. :)

Enjoying UST's Wireless

2008-07-21T07:43:00.002+08:00

What the hell?

Nothing important about this entry. See, I'm already here in school but my classes start at 10am. Roughly 2 hours from now, I will have my ChemLab Practical Exam, hopefully, my hardwork and persistence in memorizing all the chemical formulas will show. :)

I'm here in the corner pav near the gym, as usual and the early morning sunshine energizes me. :) Ang labo no?

Another thing, FUCK, they blocked multiply. I was planning to just blog about life in there but since I can't when I'm here, I'll post it here then maybe the most incredible invention -- copy paste would work. :D

Dondon? Hmmn, I don't know.

C'mon, let's not ruin this day. :)

Off to chem notes now, beb. I'll update you sooooooooner than you think I can! Haha. :)

antagal na panahon.

2008-07-20T11:39:00.002+08:00

Matagal na rin ang nakalipas mula nung huling apdeyt ko sa blog na to. Kailangan ko pa bang ulitin ang dahilan kung bakit? Oo na nga, para may maisulat na ako. Oo, busy ako. Siya nga pala, tumakbo ako bilang Assistant Treasurer ng BIOSOC para sa school year na 'to. Ayun, nanalo, kaya mas nadagdagan ang pagiging busy ko. Pang hapon nadin ang schedule ko pero alas-syete palang ng umaga ay nasa USTe na ako. Samakatuwid e 7 to 7 ako ngayon.

Naramdaman ko na ring babae ako sa harap ng isang lalaki. Ang detalye, sa susunod na. Mahaba-habang kwentuhan kasi.

Isa pa sa mga bagay na nagpapatigil sakin sa pagsusulat ay ang kawalan ko na ng interes dito. Hindi naman sa ayoko na, WALA LANG TALAGANG MAAYOS NA BAGAY AKONG MAISIPANG ISULAT. Nawawalan na din ako ng konsentrasyon matapos makapag-type ng isang talata. Ma-eksayt man akong mag-blog ng isang bagay, hindi ko talaga malaman kung papano ko ito masisimulan, kung masimulan ko man, sa tagal ng panahong ginugol ko sa pag-iisip ng paninimula ay nawawalan na akong ganang magsulat ng mga susunod nito. Isa pa, parang nawala na yun manunulat sa sarili ko. Hindi ko parin siya mahanap. Parang lahat mga katha ko nitong mga nakaraang buwan ay pilit. Sabihin ko mang "nasa mood akong gumawang tula ngayon", matapos ko siyang isulat, pag akin na siyang binabasa, nakakabalisa, parang walang kwenta, parang kantang walang tono, parang himig na walang musika, parang Paskong walang Santa Klaws. WALA SIYANG LAMAN, PILIT ANG MGA SALITA, PILIT ANG SUKAT, PILIT ANG BIGKAS. WALANG KWENTA.

Nakakatakot. Gusto ko na ulit magsulat. Gustong Gustong Gustong Gusto. Pero, PAPANO?

Nakakalungkot.

TOWER BLASTER!!!

2008-04-15T00:51:00.001+08:00

man. ang saya. enjoy :)

Minsan, kahit anong limot, ayaw talagang magpalimot ng mga bagay bagay.

2008-04-15T00:30:00.002+08:00

Oo. Ang haba ng pamagat ng maikli kong entri na ito.

Hindi ba't totoo ang sinasabi ko? Minsan naman talaga'y napakahirap makalimot.

Mahirap.

Mahirap.

Mahirap.

Minsan rin, ang taong nagbibigay lakas sa'yo ang kahinaan mo.

Osiya, paalam muna.

nakakatamad pero walang magawa.

2008-04-09T21:09:00.002+08:00

Yay, I'm done ironing the clothes, its "laba" day tomorrow. :)

Oh yeah, our maid left, its a long story and its because of his love interest. She honestly doesn't want to leave but her love interest insisted. She knew that leaving her job here would cause her children more problems and the like but still, as I've said, its a long story, really, and if I'll start telling it now, I would surely lose interest halfway. So let's leave it. Funny how love can really affect too many things. Tsk Tsk.

So what is this entry all about? It's about random things that pop into my mind. I don't really mean to write about our maid and why she left, it just came into my mind, my free-flying mind.

I guess I'll end this now and update some more later. Haha. Non-sense, right?

nakakatamad.

2008-04-09T16:56:00.001+08:00

nakakatamad naman talagang magpost. haha.

2008-02-03T13:46:00.001+08:00

40 Secrets About Yourself. Be honest no matter what..

[One] Who was your last phone call from (answered, unanswered)?
Papa

[Two] Where was your default picture taken?
di ko na maalala.

[Three] What's your middle name?
Jamias

[Four] When is your birthday?
November 9

[Five] Does your crush/girlfriend/boyfriend like you back?
NO. All caps.

[Six] What is your current mood?
"Ayos" lang. :

[Eight] What color shirt are you wearing?
Peach

[Nine] Do you love your mom as much as you love your dad?
Yes, of course. :)

[Eleven] Do you have a crazy side?
I guess so. Hahahaha.

[Twelve] Ever had a near death experience?
Yes. :)

[Thirteen] Something you do a lot?
Breathe

[Fourteen] Angry at anyone?
Nah.

[Fifteen] Fav . month ?
December.

[Sixteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Monica Antonino, Paola Alvarez

[Seventeen] When was the last time you cried?
Kagabi? Haha. Tangina kasi, ewan ko ba bakit biglang di nalang namansin e. Amp.

[Eighteen] When was the last time you went to the doctor?
Ewan. Hahaha.

[Nineteen] If you could have one super power what would it be?
Make him happy and MINE. SELFISH!!! but, I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE, SO AYUN NALANG. HAHAHA.

[Twenty] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite gender?
skills? hahahahaha. :)

[Twenty-one] What do you usually order from Starbucks?
carrrramel frap

[Twenty-two] Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
in UST MED SCHOOL. :)

[Twenty-three] Who are you missing?
madami.

[Twenty-four] Favorite TV show?
paramedics. :)

[Twenty-five] Do you still watch kiddy movies?
YES.

[Twenty-six] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
none.

[Twenty-seven] Ever been in handcuffs?
nah

[Twenty -eight] Whats your favorite smell?
smell of victory. hahahaha.

[Twenty-nine] Describe your life in one word.
life is life. :)

[Thirty] Have you ever kissed in the rain?
no. haha.

[Thirty-one] Ever kissed on the beach?
no, again.

[Thirty-two] What are you thinking about right now?
what was the reason why he, all of a sudden, stopped texting and the like. basta, its all effed up.

[Thirty-three] What should you be doing right now?
the online recognition for the EB.

[Thirty-four] Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
si Anton.

[Thirty-five] What are you currently listening to?
sound ng ERRECTRIKPAN.

[Thirty-six] Do you like working in the yard?
sure, why not.

[Thirty-seven] Plans for the evening?
matulog haha.

[Thirty-eight] Would you ever like to skydive?
of course.

[Thirty-nine] What is your natural hair color?
dark brown.

[Forty] Who was the last person to make you smile?
siya padin. kahit talagang ganito na lagay ko. pfft. yun pic niya kasi e.

Wala lang.

2007-12-21T16:18:00.000+08:00

Wala lang talaga.

'maya

2007-12-18T17:45:00.000+08:00

Nakakamiss naman bigla si Rico Blanco. Kahit hindi ko masasabing isa ako sa pinakamalupit na tiga-hanga ng Rivermaya, isa naman akong Pinoy na proud sa isa sa mga pinakamagaling na bandang nagtataguyod ng musika at industriyang Pinoy, na isa naring institusyon ng Rakrakang Noypi, iyon nga, alam nating lahat, ay ang Rivermaya.

Napanood ko kasi ang Banda ng Bayan sa nakaraang Asian Idol (kung saang Singapore ang nanalo na gulat ng halos lahat ng manonod) kasama na ang kanilang bago, batang-bata at poging-poging bokalista na si Jayson Fernandez. Sa katotohanan nga, nagulat ako nang makita ko siya. Nakakagulat. Kakaiba, para sa akin, ibang iba siya sa dating ni Rico, o kahit pa ni Bamboo. Ayoko ng magkumpara, hindi ako eksperto, ang sa akin lang, iba kasi talaga. May dating silang tatlo, may aura nga kung tawagin, ngunit iba-iba lang talaga. Ops, kung may bumabasa man nito, wag kang magalit kung disipulo ka ni Rico, Bamboo o Jayson, wala akong kinakampihan sa kanila, wala.

May kanya-kanya silang istayl, dating at pananaw. Iba-iba, ibang-iba. Mayroon din naman silang kanya-kanyang diamante o talento na pinanghahawakan. Si Bamboo, hindi ko maipagkakailang si Bamboo na ang nagtataglay ng pinakamagandang boses sa mga bandang nakasabay niya nung siya ang bokalista ng Rivermaya at kahit pa sa ngayong mayroon na siyang banda na hinango rin sa kanyang pangalan, ang Bamboo. Iba ang timbre ng boses niya, iba ang hagod, iba ang klase ng paglalagay niya ng buhay sa mga kantang binubuo ni Rico sa pamamagitan ng kanyang boses.

Napakagaling naman na manunulat nitong si Rico Blanco. Simple pero may dating. Para bagang hindi mo alam kung saan nanggagaling ang mga salitang nailalagay niya sa kantang kanyang ina-aakda. Nakakabighani. Katunayan, nung kinanta ni Jayson ang "You'll Be Safe Here" nung Asian Idol, naantig nanaman ang aking puso dahil sa mga sisimpleng salita na pinagsasama-sama nitong si Rico upang bumuo ng isang makulay na tula na di-naglaon ay nilapatan ng tamang tono at musika upang maging isang hit na hit at napakagandang kanta.

Si Jayson, nalaman ko ang pangalan matapos ko siyang i-search sa Internet isang araw matapos mapanood sa Asian Idol, ay labingwalong taon gulang lang pala. May boses, may dating, may porma, may maipagmamalaki din naman. Ayos. Bata. Napakarami pang mararating, napakarami pang makukuha ngunit hindi rin mawawala ang napakarami pang bagay na dapat malaman at siyempre and napakarami pang bagay na dapat patunayan. Alam ko naman kayang-kaya niya ang lahat nang ito, bakit? E pipiliin ba siya ng 'Maya kung hindi nila nakikita ang potensyal na batang ito? (Oy, bata pa ako, sa totoo lang, mas matanda pa sa akin si Jayson. Haha. Dagdag impormasyon lang. :D)

Hindi natin mapagkakaila na ang frontman ng isang banda ay nagtataglay ng isang napakatinding papel sa buhay ng banda at ang pag-alis nila ay maaring magbigay ng isang malaking problema. Nakaya ni Rico Blanco na isalba at bigyan ng panibagong buhay ang Rivermaya. Hmmn. Good luck kay Jayson, nawa'y ganun padin ang kapalaran ng Rivermaya sa kanyang mga kamay.

Ayun lang. Gusto ko lang umepal sa buhay ng Rivermaya. Hahahahaha. XD

2007-12-15T13:53:00.000+08:00

Nag-end na pala ang Globe Unlitxt All Day. How sad. Haha.

NEW PICS!!! http://akosipam.multiply.com/

includes:
UST's bright lights,
dream team and lab
1bio2's random moments
gazebo
football team B ng UST
badang
17th birthday ko. :)

2007-12-15T11:36:00.000+08:00

These are pictures from our happydee-happydoo laboratories. :) :) :) (: (: (:

2007-12-11T21:45:00.000+08:00

Waaaw. Ang tagal ko na talagang hindi nakakapag-update ng blog ko. Haha. Like anybody cares naman, diba? Haha.

I don't think I have to say again the reasons, or perhaps the major reason why I can't update more often but then again, I'm busy, or at least I think I am busy. Don't ask why.

This semester appears to be of a more hectic schedule. No, not because of a different schedule, its just that our teachers demand more from us this time. I guess during the previous sem, we were just given considerations because they knew we were still adjusting.

I can say that I'm very well adjusted now. I'm know what to do and what not to do this semester. For example, in all the quizzes and long tests and home works and seat works, (pakshet, sana tinawag ko nalang na class standing para mas maiksi pero the fact na nagtatype pa ako ng side comments dito proves that I'm just as talkative in my blog as I am personally, connection? WALA. Anyway, back to the topic), I've been putting much just to garner high scores because based on my experience on my bloody first semester, its better to work for your grades earlier so that when you are just too lazy to battle out laziness, it's okay. You are damn sure that you are to pass because you've reached the required cut off score. Haha. That's my strategy. Haha.

So far, so good. I'm proud to say that I'm happy with the fruits of my labor, as to this date, especially in Bio102Lab. :)

And yeah, finally, some actions in the laboratory, we've started with our frogs (acutally, we had toads, ayy, Bufo marinus pala. Doi, toad padin yun, Cane Toad. Syempre, ni-research ko pa yan. Haha.) and tomorrow we'll be opening it already. We've just finished our practicals of their skeletal and muscular system. And as I've said, I'm pretty much happy of the results of my practicals. :)

Bye. Next time ulet. After 10 years. Haha. Maniwala nga kayo't sa hindi, madalang narin akong nakakapag-unli at nakikipagtext. :) Haha. Salamat sa nagbasa at umabot hanggang sa pinakahuling salita, o symbol, ng entry na ito. Muah. :-*

BIRTHDAY

2007-11-08T19:45:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday tomorrow and I am still waiting for that miracle to happen.

I don't have any plans tomorrow. I don't even know what to do with my first ever 5-hour break in school. But I'd love to be in the field, seated comfortably. Ayun. Ayun lang. I'm not in the mood to write about anything right now. I just wish he'd talk to me or text me tomorrow. I've said sorry, I've apologized even though I don't even know what I did wrong or what happened why all of a sudden he wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't reply to me, wouldn't even notice me when we're around each other. I'm running out of the "could-be" reasons, or it is more proper to say that I'VE ALREADY RAN OUT OF THE "COULD-BE" REASONS I COULD EVER THINK OF.

So here I am.

Still waiting for a miracle.

Dear God,

Sana po siya nalang ang ipa-birthday Niyo sa akin. Super thank you po.

XOXO,
Pam

MULING NAGBABALIK

2007-11-01T12:14:00.000+08:00

Haay. Eto nanaman ako. Balik na nga pala sa Blogger Template ang blog ko. Napeste kasi ako isang araw e. Biglaan kong binura ang Photobucket account ko, hindi ko man lang naisip na iyun nga pala ang ginamit kong panghost ng mga images ko ayun, kaning-baboy ang kinalabasan ng blog ko.

Ano na? Hmmn. Patapos na ang sembreak ko ngunit kulang parin ito kung tutuusin. Parang nasisiyahan nalang ako sumama ng sumama sa mga tournament ng kapatid ko upang masilayan ko ang pinapangarap kong tao. Grabe, ano? Nagmamahal ako ng isang taong hindi naman ako pinapansin / papansinin. Dati naman kasi nakakapagtext kami, ewan ko nalang kung anong nangyari bigla.

May isa pa pala, alam na rin ni Anton na may gusto nga ako sa lalaking iyon. Hmmn. Wala naman, okay lang, hindi naman kasi gwapo ang natitipuhan ko. Oo, sige na nga, kung sa ako ang huhusga, napapangitan ako sa kanya. Wala naman ng magagawa e diba? Okay na 'yun.

Sabi sa inyo e, wala akong malalagay na blog na ito kundi ang mga reklamo ko sa love life kong wala naman hanggang ngayon. Haay. Sana nga hindi niya girlfriend ang babaeng iyun at sana ipabirthday na siya sa akin ng Panginoon. Isang pagkakataon lang, pipilitin ko talagang maisaayos ito.

2007-10-19T14:12:00.000+08:00

Yes. Finally, after 2 long days of waiting, well, its not really that long, man, I just wanted to say long, I KNOW MY GRADES NOW. Thanks to Andrei. He was the one who viewed mine because I can't go to school anymore.

So what? I'm glad that I didn't fail any. WHEW.

*smiley*

2007-10-18T12:29:00.000+08:00

Tapos na ang unang sem pero hindi parin ako nakapag-update ng blog na 'to.

Sa katotohanan, naguguluhan na talaga kung itutuloy ko pa ba ang kahibangan kong ito o ititigil ko na. Ayoko ko naman siyang itigil ng basta nalang dahil naiisip ko na marami-rami narin itong blog na 'tong nilalaman na mga kabulastugan ko, sayang naman kung biglaan nalang siyang maglalaho sa mundo. O diba? Ano sa tingin niyo? Pero minsanan naman e parang tinatamad na ako. Kung hindi wala akong oras, walang kwenta naman ang naiisip kong ilagay, tulad ng mga "heartbreaks" ko sa lalaking gusto ko na nandun lang palagi sa IPEA. Hanggang sa mawawalan nalang ako ng ganang mag-update dahil nahihiya na ako sa nilalaman ng blog ko na puro nalang love life kahit wala naman talaga akong love life.

Sige, HINDI KO NA BUBURAHIN ANG BLOG KO. Kahit walang bumabasa o tumitingin dito, ayoko parin.

Balik, balik, balik, balik na tayo sa SEMBREAK. Tapos na ang unang sem. (Salamat naman, pero hindi parin ako nakakasiguro sa grades na sasampal sa akin) Nagkita nga pala kami nila Angel, Nicole, Serena, Anna at Joanne sa Yellow Cab, Taft (malapit sa DLSU-M) para makapagchika muli. Ang tagal ko na ngang hindi sila nakikita. Hanep, masaya. Pero naisip ko na talaga ngang mas masayang balikan ang nakaraan. Yung bumalik ba sa high school at sana ganun nalang. Gusto ko sanang magpicture-picture kaso naman, dahilan sa high-tech kong telepono, hindi kinaya.

Amoy Zonrox ang kamay ko ngayon. Ewan ko kung bakit, hindi naman ako naglaba. Ano nga ba ang nangyari nung unang sem? Eto. Haay. Kumuha ako nb BS Biology sa UST, madugo ang unang sem ko. Nahirapan akong mag-adjust sa dahilang hindi ko nanaman alam. Ang hilig ng mga dahilan sa utak ko na hindi magpaintindi sa akin, o minsan, ayaw nilang ipaalam sakin kung ano ba sila. Haay. Ang labo na ba? Ayos, talagang ganito ang gusto kong mangyari sa post na ito. Haay ulit. Oo nga pala, madami din mga nangyari, nag-exam ako sa Varsitarian at bumagsak ako (hindi na bago yun), Business Committee Staffer na ako ng BioSoc, member na din ako ng UST Red Cross Youth Council-Science Unit. Mababa ang grades ko, tamad parin ako.

Nanakawan din ako ng cellphone sa may Recto - Quiapo - Raon. Ewan ko kung saan tinira ni Tatang yun. Nilaslas niya ang bulsa ko, pero dahil matanda na siya, akala ko nangangati lang siya kaya malikot, gusto ko pa ngang tulungan bumaba ng jeep e, hindi ko man lang siya pinag-isipan ng masama hanggang sa nakita kong laslas pala ang bulsa ko. Inisip ko pang nalaglag ko lang ang telepono ko. Sayang. Mahal na mahal ko pa naman yung 1100 ko na yun kahit na hindi na siya tumutunog, kusang nag-o-off kung gusto niya, punit-punit ang keypad at PUNONG PUNO NA NG MGA TEXT MESSAGES NG MAGKAPATID NA CRUSH KO. (Buti nalang memorize ko ang mga numbers nila pero hindi narin naman sila nakipagtext sa akin matapos nun. Ewan ko nanaman kung bakit.)

Marami akong lalaking natipuhan dun. Naks, nagkakaemosyon narin ako. Sa wakas. Oo, lalaki, akala lang nang mga tao sa UST lalaki ako dahil puro lalaki ang kasama ko at ewan ko din kung bakit pa. Simula gradeschool, akala na nila lalaki ako, hindi tibo a, kundi lalaki talaga. May nagustuhan ako mula sa BioSoc, meron sa Badminton, meron sa kapatid nang nagbabadminton na nagbabadminton din, meron nagfufootball, meron ulet nagbadminton. Sa dami nila, sa ngayon, iisa nalang. 'Yung pinakahuli. Siya. Oo. Siya. Isa siya sa mga pangalangin ko kay Lord ngayon. Sana nga pagbigyan ako e.

O siya, sa uulitin nalang. Babu.

2007-08-23T17:58:00.000+08:00

I got this from Angel's blog http://vodkaicecream.blogspot.com/ Gaaad. I'm bored.

10 SONGS YOU'RE CURRENTLY ADDICTED TO:
10) 4 in the Morning - Gwen Stefani
9) Cinderella - Rihanna & Chris Brown
8) I Don't Dance - Corbin Bleu <3 & Lucas Gabreel
7) No Ordinary Love - Deftones
6) Three Last Words - Finch
5) My Heard - Paramore
4) Akap - All Left Broken
3) Nothing Better - The Postal Service
2) Pag-Agos - Up Dharma Down
1) Dead to the World - JamisonParker

9 THINGS THAT CURRENTLY MAKE YOU HAPPY: (Sabi mo THINGS a.)
9) Camera
8) White fluffy clouds
7) Corbin Bleu appearing on TV or in my dream. XD
6) Suspended classes due to weather conditions (though the weather conditions doesn't really make me happy)
5) IPod
4) PSP
3) Nintendo DS (Walang kamatayang Super Mario! Woot woot! XD)
2) IPod (Tralala :P)
1) PSP (Need for Speed forever! XD)

8 THINGS YOU DO DAILY:
8) Wake up
7) Hygiene
6) Talk
5) Breathe
4) Eat
3) Think and move
2) Sleep
1) Pray

7 THINGS/PEOPLE THAT ANNOY YOU:
7) Brother of the feeler guy in UST-IPEA. You know him Drei, four-lettered and name niya.
6) And the feeler guy in UST-IPEA. Akala mo sino porket varsity lang. Tsk tsk.
5) Fact that I am not in HS anymore.
4) I don't have a guy to call mine. (Oo, pake mo?)
3) Crappy presentations and role playing that we have to do. Crap.
2) Dust. They give me allergic rhinitis.
1) Since I'm new in college I'm finding it hard to make good grades. I don't know why.

6 THINGS YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO:
6) Sleeping later
5) Badminton tryouts for BIOSOC tomorrow (ewan ko, di naman talaga looking forward e)
4) HSM 2, just to see Corbin's developed body of a MAN. Grabe, he's grown. Grrr. Makes me weak, makes me drool. XD
3) Corbin Bleu music
2) 18th Birthday ko. I don't know why. Haha.
1) Sleeping later (ulet)

5 THINGS YOU'RE SCARED OF:
5) Losing a friend
4) Failing
3) Stage
2) Losing a family member
1) God, not scared, God-fearing lang.

4 PEOPLE YOU'D LIKE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH:
4) Myself. Oo. Talaga.
3) Andrew Laxa
2) HS Friends
1) Family

3 MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:
3) Bring It On 3 - dahil sa HS friends. Haha. Memorize ko na almost half of the script.
2) Jump In - Corbin Bleu = <3
1) Surf's Up

2 SPECIAL MOMENTS:
2) When I'm alone and talking to the walls
1) When I'm alone and I cry on pillows

1 PERSON YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH:
1) Myself. I want me with me forever. <3 Because no mortal can ever, ever, ever be with me forever.

2007-08-23T17:25:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time again. :D Aww, college life isn't really getting the best out of me. Wanna know why? I don't think I will be able to pass my Biology 101 Lecture and Lab exams then add my Math 101 there as well. Major subjects gone wild. I'm getting alarmed but I don't know what I can do to improve. I reviewed, yes, but the thing is, questions are different. What I reviewed is only what I reviewed, not what is on the exam. It just sucks to know that, eh?

Gaaad. This is just not right. Whenever my parents ask me how is school and acads, I just tell them it is okay. How improper, right? I'm supposed to tell my parents I'm having a problem and its just bothering me too much now. Argh. Crap. Though I'd really love to tell them the headaches I'm going through by trying to figure out what approach I should do to my studies. Memorizing isn't really my thing, I'd rather explain things and not enumerate them and being a Biology Major makes it hard to be like that. *Sigh*. I don't think this entry is getting any clearer. I think its just going in circles, I think. *Sigh*. Crap. I can't stay still right now. I can hardly sleep at night because I'm thinking of how I'll make my grades higher. I got pretty quiz grades in Math so Ms. Cortez, our guidance counselor who happens to be from OB too, she was my guidance counselor during highschool too, said I got nothing to worry about. Well, I guess I have to try harder even if I don't think I can anymore. I have to try harder. Hopefully, what I'll be doing for the rest of the semester will reap me good fruits. Hehe.

If then failing to reach the quota for UP is not the end of the world, this time, failing in Biology is the end of the world. *Sigh*. I need to improve, that's it. I can do this.

2007-08-09T09:48:00.000+08:00

Its myself for myself this time.

Never again shall I think that I will need anybody so I could pour out my emotions, spill out what I feel inside. Its all crap when people think that you need to somehow let out what is in. I don't believe them. Its not right. Emotions being bottled up inside need not to be shown to the world. Why? Because it'll always come down to two possible results, either the world will care, or the world will think its all pure crap. Those results depends, of course, on your status in life, your looks, your haves, your money, your properties, your make up, your clothes, your accent, your diction, your eyes, your eyebrows, your connections to other people, your physical attributes, everything physical about you. Unfortunately, I never had any of those to brag about, so yes, the world couldn't care less.

People think I'm just being bitter and I don't appreciate the blessings that are showered upon me. Well then, hell they go, if only there's a mirror that shows people's thoughts then I could just shove it in their throats so they would stop being hyprocritical creatures.

I'm not contented with my life right now and at least I'm pretty honest about it. Are they really that appreciative of life? Let us see, it is damn impossible to never have anything to complain about, even once in your life. Hypocrites, tsk tsk tsk.

People I trust leave me. People I help forget me. People I love trashes me. Over and over I'm just being deceived. Yes, over and over. I used to have the experience of bottling my feelings all inside, all the hatred, the grievances, yes, I tried suicide, I tried self-infliction. I am cured right now though. Of course, you'll say I am criticizing my own thoughts regarding the need of somebody to talk to, but you know what, the feeling is worse right now. I feel bad if I don't get to spill out what I feel but I feel terrible when people I listen to, and give time to, leave me if I need to lessen the hurt I have inside.

Over and over again I fall for the same thing. I give people my best but then when I need somebody, nobody comes to save me. Thus, I learned to live on my own. Friends really come and go. There will always come to the point that memories are all you can turn to. Mere words do not really explain how we feel. Sometimes, we lie because we think it will cater good for somebody but what we do not know is that when actions speak louder than words, we hurt them. They finally realize that what we said were just lies. Lies, lies, lies.

Never, ever, ever, ever tell somebody that you will always be there for them no matter what. Now I learned that's all crap. You can never do that. Sus, kung sa mga superheroic movies nga may nakakaligtaan sila, hindi nila natutupad ang "just call my name and I'll be there", e sa totoong buhay pa kaya? And if you were ever told that they will always be there for you, of damn, a hell of crap that is. Never believe them. Always have God and yourself as your bestfriends. And believe your parents, or elders, if any, because they really have the best thoughts for us. Always keep in mind what they tell us, "Anak, dapat matuto na ka ng ganito-ganyan. Matuto ka nang tumayo sa sarili mong mga paa. Paano nalang kung wala na kaming mga magulang mo? Hindi naman sa habang panahon nandito kami para sayo..." See, people who care about us do not let us swim through loads of beautifully-combined words that are actually all crap.

Again, its myself for myself right now...

2007-07-22T15:59:00.000+08:00

Okay, this entry will be short, but I hope you will not find it pointless.

Still due to the demands of college life, I find it hard to update this blog regularly. So what has happened for the past few weeks?

July 11, 2007 - We watched the documentaries "Kambas ng Lipunan" and "Ang Lumang Paintbrush". They are about a painter's journey with his faith.
July 12, 2007 - My pocket was slashed in the jeepney somewhere along Quiapo - Recto, Quezon Blvd. An old man sat beside me holding a brown envelope. He was so old that he reminds me of Mang Crispin in the "Ang Lumang Paintbrush" docu. I arrived at school without my 1100 (hindi na tumutunog at lagas lagas na ang keypad) phone. My only phone. I love it so much. I didn't want to think that the old man got it because there are many scenarios, I could just have dropped it in the jeepney or it must just have slipped and the old man really really reminds me of Mang Crispin. He was very old, he couldn't even go up and down the jeepney that easily! But during my breaktime, I put my lipbalm inside my pocket then it fell. I thought, "How come?" then there, I saw the slashed part of my pocket. Andrei told me that I didn't dropped my phone, someone got it. Oh well, goodluck to that someone, I hope he appreciates my phone, even if its already broken. I bought a new phone, 1100 ulet. :D
July 14, 2007 - Red Cross Youth Council General Assembly.
July 18, 2007 - Birthday of Ate Chit.
JULY 20, 2007 - I SAW MY CRUSH IN THE UST GYM BECAUSE I ACCOMPANIED GENESIS THERE FO HIS TRY-OUTS IN THE UST BADMINTON TEAM.
July 21, 2007 -RCYC went to Concordia Orphanage. Aww, the kids. :D I'll make another entry about this. And Club Flick's celebration of Ate Chit's birthday. SOBRANG BADTRIP KO NIYANG ARAW NA YAN, ACTUALLY, HANGGANG NGAYON, MAY HANGOVER PA NG KABADTRIPAN.

I'm feeling the pain and hurt again when the one you like doesn't even want to be friends with you. I've felt this a thousand times, I should be used to this. I suck, big time. I'm hating myself right now.

2007-07-05T20:09:00.000+08:00

Due to the demands of "College Life" I was not able to update this blog like I've been doing before. No more bajillions of updates a day, no more super long entries like before, no more like that unless I really am interested in recording the event.

Anyway, the guy I have a crush on since second year high school is a part of the UST *insert the game I most enjoy playing here. Kung di mo alam eh mabuti pang magpakamatay ka nalang. Leche, di mo pala ako kilala. Joke. Bahala na kayo alamin kung hindi niyo alam* Varsity Team. Weeeh, I won't tell you who he is, he somehow might jump in into this site and see his name and go hunting for me, THINKING THAT I MIGHT BE A STALKER. Hahaha.

I'm more than proud to be a Thomasian. Super Tiger Power na talaga 'toh! Haha. Yes to a CHEATING-FREE Campus! Yeah! College of Science - Biology Kid ata 'toh. :D

2007-06-20T21:01:00.000+08:00

Man, man, man. I don't need anything else but sleep right now. Haha. Yes, I've been lacking sleep since classes started.

Anyway, BIO101Lab didn't go that far today again. As it was last week, CAL-1 was still under renovation. And as it was last week, we spent amost 4 hours doing stuff not even close to biology. Well, 3 hours for me, that is. Because I went to the Guidance Office to talk about my concerns regarding my adjustments and surprisingly, a case of HS nostalgia.

So aren't you wondering about those 3 hours and how I spent it wisely? Haha. Let us not talk about being a good time manager this time. :) 7am to 7.30am, we sat down near CAL-1 waiting for any professors to come but not to our surprise, no one came since the laboratory doesn't seem to be in the condition for a class already. Haha. 8am-10am, some of my blockmates ate and then, we played computer games, yes, CounterStrike, House of the Dead, DOTA, BattleRealms etc., those kind of stuff. Yes, I was with the guys, as always. Jorg, Brian, Joseph and Allen.

So that, I have to go now. I still got a whole lotta stuff to do.

2007-06-15T22:17:00.000+08:00

I had a bad day today. Wow! Imagine, its only the third day and I am having bad days. You know what this means?! THERE ARE WORSE DAYS TO COME!

Anyway, I wouldn't want to discuss here how my day became that bad. Well, a whole lotta thanks to Jorg, Brian and Joseph for the company even if we've only met two days ago. And hugs and kisses to Nicole and Angel for giving me a high through text, dahil nasa taft sila pareho. I really needed a hug but obviously, I can't hug any of the men I know in UST. I was already crying when I called Nicole then Jorg and Brian saw me, they laughed but its okay, I'm feeling so like a shithead for doing that in front of them. Haha.

On our way out of the building after classes, I saw Ms. Cortez, former guidance counselor of OB and now of UST, and we talked, she asked how OBLP is doing. It was such a relief to see her there and even ask me if I was having any problems. Haha. I'll definitely visit her next week.

2007-06-14T21:14:00.000+08:00

Hey, I guess I haven't been updating for a little while now.

Guess what? My college life officially started yesterday at 7 am. As paranoid as I am, I still ended up in the wrong room for the first subject on the very first day. But no, it wasn't one of those most embarrassing moments in your life that you get to write down in every autograph book that comes your way. It was more of a funny and significant moment that it was a hide-my-face-behind-my-skirt moment. It was actually one of those moments that you get to say that everything really happens for a reason.

I guess I got a bit confused in the rooms / venues stated in the registration form. Everything was to be discussed in room 318 except for PE and Bio101Lab. We we're supposed to have Bio101Lab but I guess because of paranoia driving me nuts, (double checking the room number if its 318, asking people inside if its 318 etc., etc.), it got ahead of me and poof! I was in the wrong room, on the first day and my first subject as a college student. Buti nalang, the teacher was there to ask us if we are all from 1Bio-6. (FYI, I am part of 1Bio-2).

And do you know why it wasn't an embarassing moment? May mga kasama naman ako.
And do you know why it was fun? Under removation ang CAL-1 and we didn't have classes from 7 am to 10 am tapos break pa namin ng 10-11.
And do you know why I said everything happens for reason? I can say for now that my closest friends in UST are those who were with me in 318 when supposedly we should be in CAL-1. They are Jorg and Brian.

Anyway, I'll go now. See yah.

2007-06-04T20:49:00.000+08:00

I also had a haircut today. When we went back there with my father already, I just thought that I had to have one. So I got one. :D Sadly, Kuya Ian (our stylist) wasn't there but I had one anyway. Hehe.

2007-06-04T20:28:00.000+08:00

Sa wakas, meron akong kwentong mailalagay dito.

Dahil sa magpapasukan na, pinuntahan na naming, ako, si Ate Bey at si Gogoy, ang ST. Andrew's School para kuhanin ang kulang pa na mga uniporme ni Anton. Matapos kaming pumaroon ay tumungo naman kami sa SM City Sucat para mananghalian.

Akalain mo ba naman, matapos kaming kumain at kami ay palabas pa lamang sa KFC, nagsitakbuhan ang mga tao paloob. Nang tumigil sila sandali, tinanong naming ang isa sa mga nakisilong sa KFC kung ano ang nangyayari. Sabi niya ay meron daw nangyayaring barilan sa labas. Dali-dali kong niyaya sina Ate Bey at Gogoy na pumunta sa Chris upang mapanatag na kami kung magka-aberya nanaman. Nang makarating na kami sa Chris, hating sarado na ang mga boutiques at iba pang mga tindahan doon. Nakausap ko si Kuya Narry at nalaman na nagkaroon daw ng hold-up.

Kumalma ang mga tao panandalian at nag-ayos ng muli ang mga tindera. Sa pangalawang pagkakataon ay nagtakbuhang muli ang mga tao at karamihan ay papalabas na ng SM sa exit na malapit sa Chris. Sumabay na kami sa mga tao tumuloy ng labas patungong parking lot dahil karamahin na rin sa mga tindera ay isinasara na lamang ang mga tindahan at tumatakbo nadin papalabas.

Tuluy-tuloy kaming lumabas ng SM at tumungo sa meron kaming mapagtataguan na mga sasakyan. Pero pagtingin naming sa likuran, meron dalawang babae at isang matandang babae na hirap na hirap ng makatakbo. Bumalik kami at tinulungan namin ang matanda. Nung una ay pinilit naming parahin ang mga dumadaang sasakyan upang maiuna ng maisakay si Lola ngunit sa kasamaang palad, walang nag-atubiling tumigil.

Namataan ko ang isang closed delivery van na may mga kargang notebook sa isang gilid ng parking lot. Ibinilin ko nalang kay Ate Bey yang matanda upang maalalayan at dumeretso na ako sa mga kalalakihang nasa may van. Alam ko na may hindi paring kasiguruhan sa pagpunta ko doon ngunit ito na ang tangi kong naisip na ideya para lamang mailayo na si Lola dahil nginig na nginig na siya maging ang kanyang mga kasama. Nakiusap nalang ako na kung maari ay maisakay na kami kung sila ay papaalis na din. Pumayag namain sila at sa wakas, napalagay na namin an gaming mga sarili, pati narin ang dalawang babae naming kasama at si Lola.

Sa tuwi-tuwina ay tinatawagan ako ni Papa upang tingnan kung ano na ang nangyayari sa amin. Dapat nga ay susunduin niya pa kami doon ngunit hindi narin nagpapapasok ang SM ng kahit sino kaya malabo narin na masundo pa kami dun.

Bumaba kami sa may Palanyag upang mag-jeep nalang at dumretso nalang kami sa court dahil nandoon daw si Papa. Mga ala-una siguro ay nandoon na kami.

Napakasarap ng pakiramdam ng makatulong sa iba. Lubos din ang pasasalamat ko delivery van at mga tao nun sa pagtulong sa amin.

Matapos ang lahat ng iyon? Bumalik kami nila Papa sa SM matapos niyang tawagan sila Kuya Narry upang makasigurong ayos na ang lahat.

Kumusta naman ang SM? Hehe, iyon parin ang dabest na pasyalan. Hehe.

2007-05-17T16:12:00.000+08:00

Eto sa parents ko at sa brother ko. :D

http://www.myheritage.com

2007-05-17T16:01:00.000+08:00

Got this as http://myheritage.com/ and I really am currently addicted to it. I've been trying a lot of pictures (of whoever) here and find myself fond of it. Haha. :D

http://www.myheritage.com

2007-05-04T19:53:00.000+08:00

I received a call yesterday from Mrs. Sotello, one of the interviewers of Zontsa International for their YWPA Awards. She was very glad to tell me that I was chosen by the panel to represent The Zonta Club of Las Pinas for the said awards. My next stage would be the District Leg, this time, it will also include representatives from different countries in Southeast Asia.

This opportunity is such a blessing for me. And I am very thankful for it. I cannot really express it by mere words.

2007-05-02T16:22:00.000+08:00

Galing ako sa isang uneventful trip sa General Santos City.

Ibahin natin, hindi naman "uneventful", hindi lang talaga ito yung tipong bakasyon na iisipin ng ibang tao / nilalang / hayop etc. Dahilan naman talaga sa tournament ng kapatid ko kaya kami napadpad doon. Maganda, parang Maynila narin ang asenso ng Gensan. Eto ang kaunting kaibahan:

1. Trapik
2. Polusyon
3. Pagkain

Kaunti lang ang napuntahan naming mga lugar, isa na dito ang Fishport, Isla Parilla (kung saan kami tumuloy ng isang araw, at gabi, ito ay matatagpuan sa Sarangani Province), KCC Mall, Gaisano Mall, Mr. BIGSHOT Badminton Court at Nadies. Nakakain narin ako ng OSTRICH na maoorder sa Six Blings, sa loob ng Mr. BIGSHOT. Ano pa ba? Ahh, sa Sydney Hotel kami tumuloy at kasama namin sila Coach Ian (Piencenaves), Kuya Jaime (Junio Jr.), Ronnel, Benjo, Gerald, at marami pang iba. Hahaha.

Champion:

National OPEN Level: Ian Gil Piencenaves / Jaime Junio Jr.
Bulilit Boys OPEN: Anton Cayanan / Gerald Sibayan

2007-04-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

So here I am again, trying to spit whatever is in my mind right now.

Unfortunately, this try isn't just working.

*sigh*

But maybe, if I try to speak my mind out this time and just keep on typing and typing thoughts, I could release things.

A message I received: "A Psychological Fact: All emotional pain lasts for 12 minutes, all that last longer are self-inflicted."

Astig. So its actually people's "pagiinarte" that makes them depressed.

It is either you choose to be contented with what you have or cry every single night and think you are a cursed creature not deserving of any joy showered by God.

Life is damn unfair and it is up to you to deal with it.

See, I am talking now.

I am still wondering about that ZONTA International YWPA Awards.

Do I have the chance to make a difference by being one of its recipient?

Personally, I don't think so.

I could make a difference, period.

I do not need anything to make a change.

I could start it by myself.

It depends on my will to make it, not in anything else.

Oh man, I am terribly, terribly bored right now.

Bye.

2007-04-23T16:02:00.000+08:00

WHOAH. FINALLY MY BROTHER BROUGHT HOME A GOLD MEDAL IN AN AGE GROUP BADMINTON TOURNAMENT.

OH CRAP. I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF HIM.

CONGRATS, ANTON FOR BEING THE 1ST NATIONAL KASON SINGLES BADMINTON TOURNAMENT, 12 AND UNDER BOYS DIVISION CHAMPION! :D

2007-04-14T12:59:00.000+08:00

Yo. Hello. I've realized that in these past few days, I was not in the mood to make an entry. I was just not in the mood to write about my uneventful pre-college summer. I'm bored but I can't seem to find the right position I'm comfortable to write and write and just write.

Anyway, as I've seen the blogs of my classmates, they have their dedications to everybody in the class. I thought that I could make my own now. Yea, man, I know its late but hey, at least I am making one. Haha.

Nakakahiya, late na ko nagpost ng ganitong drama class mayor pa naman. Sus.

<BR>
Barcena, Kendrick H. - Yo, seatmate, still remember the first time we became seatmates? We were totally different, we didn't even know how we will get along! But look at us now! I am thankful to have you as my seatmate, you certainly have taught me a lot. :D
Batolinio, Takeshi P. - Hmmn. Yo. "La". Haha. I'll never, ever forget you. We've been through a lot, man, and I really mean a lot. You know what I'm saying now. Someday, we will be able to buy "THEM" all. I'm fucking sure about it. Wanna GB with me? Salamat sa lahat, pare. :D
Bonuan, John Alexander S. - Hey, Naalala mo pa Pokemon addiction ko? Haha. Keep up the Il Divo thing, although you left me, your own brother, I'm not mad or anything, mas sikat naman ako sayo eh, SHREDDER kasi ako. Hehe. Thanks.
Borja, Anthony Lawrence A. - Tatang! I will miss you. Ikaw ang pinakamatanda at pinakamahiwagang nilalang na nakita ko sa talang buhay ko. :D
Bosshart, Adrian P. - I know I'm one of your bestfriends and I'm happy about it, man. You amaze me. Haha. you surely made my prom night a blast when I saw you dance like nobody's watching-IN THE STAGE.
Cuenca, Juan Bartolome I. - Itigil mo na sindikato niyo. :D Salamat sa pagsha-share ng stories, I'll keep you updated if you promise to keep me updated too. :D Utang mo pala, magbayad ka na.
de Leon, Gian Carlo S. - Sus, de Leon King. Hay. Maraming salamat sa pagpapatahan sa luha ko. Seryoso. Alagaan mo si Joanne, sorry din sa mga oras na gago ako. Haha. Kasama yun sa paglaki. Haha. Dude, keep in touch, SANA LANG.
Duarte, Justine Edward P. - Yo, what's up Promdate? Thanks for being there always. Pasensya ka na sa pananabla ko at pang-aasar, ako lang talaga yun. Hehe. Its all part of me. Haha. You're one of the guys I'll totally never, ever forget, and LEAVE BEHIND.
Ebon, John Paulo L. - Hala, bakit nalang nasa BOYS ka kasama?! Haha. You're one of the best things that had ever happened to me for the past four years of my life. Thanks, GIRL!
Gumatay, Monilois B. - Oy, pare ko. Dude, ikaw nakasama ko ng first time kong totally ikutin ang MOA. Gago ka. Pinagod mo ko. Let's do that again. Haha. Thanks lagi ka andiyan. :D Munchkins. :D
Occenola, Benjamin Voltaire N. - Tangina ka, ang tagal na natin magkasama, dapat ng UST ka nalang din eh. Sus. Para forever na tayo together diba? Hehe. Salamat at you look up to me as one POGI being. Haha. Sana if we meet each other anytime soon you'll call me POGI padin. :D
Palomar, Robert Hector G. - Hey Bert, kapwa kong RICH KID. Hehe. Well, you've certainly taught me a lot of things, di mo man alam yun, naituro mo sakin some of the most important things I'll always keep in mind. Gago ka, pinahirapan mo din ako ng ilang taon hah, hehe. Joke. It was my choice and somehow, that choice has made a stronger person now. Thanks sa pagsha-share. Chick-hunting tayo minsan para maubos ko nanaman sila at wala matira sayo. Haha. Mahanap mo na sana ang magiging girlie mo. :D
Pascaran, John Vyle C. - Yo, sana naman bumilis ka. Hehe. Joke lang. Kinuha mo slot ko. Bleh! Hehe. Ingat ka JV, mahalaga ka sa maraming tao. :D
Pollard, Fredrick D. - I hope you still remember me now. And I hope you won't forget to look back onto the memories HS brought you, di lang yung 3rd and 4th years, sana pati 1st at 2nd. Lahat yun parte ng buhay mo. Isa ka sa biggest challenges ko sa pagiging mayor, alam mo ba yun? Haha.
Solis, Von Christian G. - Papa Von. Wag mo ako kalimutan. You may be that silent guy in school but I know inside you're very caring. Keep in touch. Isa ka sa mga tinatakbuhan ko pag naguguluhan ako. :D Salamat.
Sy, Ernest Emmanuel C. - I believe that posting my message here for you will be inappropriate. We'll see each other regularly, right? I know you'll always be here, not in my heart (eww, man) though but IN MY HOUSE. Haha. ;)
Tang, Christiane Rocken B. - Grabe, naalala mo pa mga bonding time natin nung 1st year? Hehe. Yngatan mo si Serena hah, nako, mahal ko yun, sus. :D Isa ka sa mga nagpahirap ng pagiging mayor ko, nako. Hehe. Kk lang yun, pare. :D
Valdez, John Santini G. - Johnny! Ikaw padin pinakamatinik na man-chicks, gosh, natalo mo ako. :D Salamat sa parati mong pagtulong sakin. :D Sexxxy ka talaga.

Installment to, tae, nakakatamad talaga, next time na yung girls. Hehe. Sorry.

2007-04-10T20:56:00.000+08:00

SOME RANDOM CONVERSATION WITH NO RANDOM PERSON, HE'S A SPECIAL PERSON FOR ME.

PAM: WHY HOTSAUCE?
HIM: BECAUSE I'M HOT AND I'M SMOOTH LIKE A HOTSAUCE.

HAHAHA. HE'S TOTALLY, TOTALLY AMAZING. WELL, I MEAN, NOT THAT I REALLY THING HE'S AS HOT AS HOTSAUCE, HE'S JUST FUN TALKING TO. HE MAKES ME SMILE EVEN THOUGH I KNOW HE DOESN'T MEAN TO. HE'S FANTASTIC. I LOVE HIS ATTITUDE. I LOVE HIS SENSE OF HUMOR. I LOVE HIS CLOTHES. I LOVE HIS TASTE IN MUSIC. AND MOREOVER, I LOVE HIS HAIR.

HE'S JUST DAMN WONDERFUL. AND I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY BECAUSE HE'LL NEVER SEE THIS.

I'M IN CAPS LOCK TODAY, AND HOPEFULLY, I CAN BE UNTIL TOMORROW, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY. MAYBE I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING? I DON'T KNOW. I EVEN TALK IN YM IN CAPS LOCK. BYE FOR NOW.

2007-04-04T11:29:00.000+08:00

Ngayon ko lang napansin na matagal-tagal narin pala akong hindi nakakapag-update ng blog ko. Oo, tinatamad kasi ako.

Graduweyt na pala ako ng High School nung ika-29 pa ng Marso. Ayos noh?

Awards ko:
1. OB Montessori Center Activity Award
2. Bronze Medalist - Elocution
3. Gerry Roxas Leadership Award

Ayun lang. Tulad nga ng sinabi ko, TINATAMAD AKO.

2007-03-18T08:01:00.000+08:00

I just graduated from my CAT-1 Course last night.

Our graduation was held on Camp Rafael Crame together with the celebration of the President's Day for our beloved OBMCI Founder and President, Amb. Preciosa S. Soliven. With more or less 700 young cadets parading, The Corps of Cadets of OB Montessori Center has really come a long way.

This graduation marks our achievement and compliance in our CAT-1 subject. Yes, I am very proud and happy to have had CAT classes and seek within myself my potential not only in leadership, but also in serving the people and the country.

It is with utmost sincerity that I gratify OB Montessori Center for including the subject in their curriculum. And it is with extreme pride that I inform the world that I, C/TSgt Pamela Cayanan, Platoon Sergeant - Foxtrot-1, is a graduate of the 2007 Class of Sanlingan.

And with that, I will forever keep not only in my mind but also in my heart the most important sentence CAT, or anybody else, has ever taught me, THE HONOR CODE:

"A cadet does not lie, cheat, steal, nor tolerate those who do so..."

2007-03-13T21:27:00.000+08:00

It is only until now that I've come to realize how different Paul Artadi is from other known people. He has never left the ground yet. And I think he won't. He's really nice.

Next up, last Saturday was the Inter-Company CAT Competition.

3rd – Echo Company (Greenhills)

2nd – Golf Company (Angeles)

1st – FOXTROT COMPANY (Las Piñas)

Yea, we nailed it. We had a practice for the Arrival Honors too. And guess what, Mr. Capistrano said that the Arrival Honors is only for the best company who represents the whole unit. Congratulations, Las Piñas!

I am currently into Su Doku but I don’t think it is into me though. I bought new pencils, mechanical that is, and a new mini softy (that is what I call my eraser, btw).

BR>
Intra-Branch Debate is on Friday. It was only announced this afternoon though. The topic is: Resolve that only certified taxpayers should be allowed to vote. I'm on the Affirmative Side with Robert, Dianne and Minseun. Haay. Hassle.

2007-03-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT, MARCH 09, 2007 but due to a series of unfortunate events, ie. my dial up Internet connection was fucked up, I am only able to post it today. Enjoy.

I watched PBA today. Haha. SRS ulet, beside PBA Commissioner Seats. Kewl, eh? Finally, after a week of full stress, I am able to do what I want and that is with runny nose, sore throat and fever though. I'm damn sick!

Anyway, its all worth it since I was able to have a picture with Paul Artadi and ***drumroll*** JOHN ARIGO. :D I waited outside their dug out for that. I was really waiting for Arigo but then since I called Paul Artadi earlier when he was shooting during the halftime break in the court and took a picture of him, I asked him while he was on his way to the backdoor if I may have a picture with him. Haha. And yeah, for the first time in my whole life, I enjoyed the luxury of being a VIP. Pero badtrip padin ang ibang parts like you have to be like this and that and people look at you differently, they offer you extra stuff you don't really need. Haay. Anyway, going back, out comes Arigo, like after 10 years, and there, I asked him, "Sir, may I have a picture with you?" He smiled and said, "C'mon, sure". We took two shots, first, kami lang dalawa, second, with my cousins. I was supposed to ask him so sign my tickets but I wasn't able to ask him since he was holding a lot of things, ie.: iPod (mini) (pareho kami), a box and ewan ko yun iba. Basta. Cool. :D

2007-03-08T19:26:00.000+08:00

Oh darn. I am too darn busy to write anything. I don't really want to write stuff here for like until the next week because I really am not in the mood but I am going through a lot right now and I can't help it but update so I could somehow take the burden off me.

TAMA NGA SI SPIDERMAN, WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREATER RESPONSIBILITY.

Yes, I know, I am a human being and I commit mistakes. And at some points in my life, I know that I have committed more mistakes than did the right things. I can't blame myself for being wrong but on the other hand, I can't also give the reason, "tao lang ako, nagkakamali din," everytime I fall down and commit a wrong deed.

I have been quite linient to the class for the past months of being assigned as the Class Mayor to not make a bitchy image of myself to my classmates. As far as it went, I had to be the one I really do not want to be because of the abuse they do if am are very soft. I can even recall Mrs. Ricafort telling me that the reason why I wasn't voted the Class Mayor was because of my will, I believe otherwise. Maybe, I just wasn't the one for the job. For the second quarter, the class never voted me again, but by its end, Mrs. Ricafort re-appointed me, to the dismay of my classmates though.

Being appointed is not what I want. I wanted to be voted if they want me that job. They obviously didn't but with Mrs. Ricafort's decision, we can't back out. Some of them even told me that I could do it. For the past 4 months or so, I really couldn't remember, it has been the same old situation everyday, it is trying your best to be someone perfect for your classmates and your teachers to recognize. Also, it is part of the look-at-yourself-first-before-you-judge-others cliche. I also had to widen my thoughts so as not to be dead if being thrown spears at.

SEE, IT ISN'T JUST FOLLOWING THE RULES, IT IS GROWING AS A BETTER PERSON TO HELP AND SUSTAIN OTHERS. IT IS MATURITY.

But as I've said, I am not perfect. Thus I fall down. Thus I fell down again. We all know that cellphones in OB Montessori is a big no-no. But as a linient Pampam does in a day to day basis, I do not confiscate phones as long as they do not display it in class or the phone doesn't ring / alarm for the whole class to know. Even I see you texting, I wouldn't care as long as you know your limits. It is also a way to not lower their grades more. But I confiscated three phones in two weeks because of display and alarm.

Right now, I have no more credibility because of what a parent told a teacher. She talked to a teacher to say just how people bring cellphones and how I just let them go that easy. I WAS INDEED UNFAIR. Though I've apologized to my classmate for being unfair, what I did was brought me up as a mess. I broke the glass of my image. Because whatever apology I offer, whatever amount tears I shed, I can never put the pieces of the broken glass together without the traces of its breaks.

Truly, being a mayor is a hard job. It is more than having the heart of a leader, it is more than completing your uniform so you could tell others to do that too, it is even more than having the strength to know that in every decision you make, you may blink and realize that all your friends hate you and left you, it is even more than having the strength to keep quiet even if a trusted friend has already called you a "He-Bitch from Hell". The important part is being able to have the maturity to weigh sides and make sound decisions.

If I had a chance to tell everybody this before out high school life comes to an end, I would. I would to apologize for being tough, unmannered at times, unfair, biased, mataray and all the other stuff that comes with it. I hope they could understand why I am doing this. And I also hope that some time in the future, maybe months from now, or years, they'll come to appreciate what I did.

To sum it all up, I hope they'd understand whatever I do right now. IT'S DAMN HARD TO BE TORN BETWEEN YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND YOUR CLASSMATES WHOM YOU TREAT AS FAMILY. It is seeing to it that the number of people you hurt is at its least. Because in this position, it almost impossible to make a safe decision, to not hurt anybody.

2007-03-02T18:49:00.000+08:00

I know this is kind of lame since I have only seen him for less than ten times and I really do not know him that well. I don't even think he considers me as a friend but I miss Andrew. I wonder when will fate give me a chance to see him again.

Our Camp Crame CAT Trainings are earlier starting tomorrow. We have to be there before 6 AM so that means we have to be in school before 5 AM. It's cool for me. I love the time that is given but I'm worried because I do not think all of us will be able to wake up that early. Well, I think I shouldn't be thinking of this too much because in the other end of my mind, I know that all of them wants to go there and practice. I know how much they want to be there. AND I KNOW WHY. :D I guess we all know why.

I'm waiting for Occy if ever he'll spend the night here so we can just go to school tomorrow morning together.

2007-02-26T20:53:00.000+08:00

Hmmn.

Nakakatamad mag-update.

Walang pangyayari na nakakapagpabuhay ng dugo upang magsulat.

Huling klase namin sa CAT kanina.

Wala talagang gusto lumabas sa utak ko upang maitype ko.

Paalam.

Hanggang sa muli.

2007-02-22T22:23:00.000+08:00

I was able to talk to Andrew through YM today. :D

Okay, do I have anything more to say? Hmmn. Yeah, let us clear things. I don't like Paul Mendoza. I don't like Xyrz Batulan.

Those are the highlights of today. Some are way too confidential to write. No, it isn't about me. It's about people in the school, the students and the authority.

From the two of them, I have a bigger part of me for the nearer man. :D Or not really man.

2007-02-18T17:04:00.000+08:00

I watched Music and Lyrics of Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant today all by myself.

We heard mass today and had lunch in SM then they all had haircuts and since the cinema was just across the salon I took time and watched a movie. I bonded with myself. Wow.

Batulan never replied again. But he replies to Duarte anyway. Guess what? Sun si Batulan, Sun si Pampam (ako), Smart si Duarte at rumereply si Batulan kay Duarte. Now I get the reason why he isn't replying to me.

2007-02-17T17:54:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it that I just had my last Prom night ever.

Prom nights are supposed to go just like how mine did. Friends turned something more than friends danced, food was great, the place was beautiful, the night was just okay. It wasn't perfect but it didn't suck. It was just plain okay.

Hmmn. I have Batulan's number and his picture. Thanks my m oh-so-eager friends. I had to meet a lot of people, especially boys, from other branches. I don't mean boys like the boys because I am a fine lady, it was because of Robert and Duarte (prom date ko). They were from GH so they have friends there. Haha. Bestfriend dati ni Batulan si Duarte. Wahahah.

I texted him using my sun sim. I said "hi, I'm the fat kid you met last night with Duarte," and he said, "Hi :)," then I was like, "Hehe. How're you?," and I never got any replies again. :( Awww. Am I meant to be like this forever?!

2007-02-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

~~HAPPY~~ VALENTINE'S DAY NGAYON.

Puta. Ayoko na magkagusto or mang-admire or magka-crush sa kahit sinong lalake. Mauubos lang lalaki sa paligid ko. Lalayuan lang nila ako eh. So I'd rather not take the chance of losing friends. They'll just avoid me. Nobody would ever want to be liked by me. It is just plain embarassing.

Naaawa nadin ako sa mga guys that I get a crush on. Because they have to bear with the pain and the shame that my liking wil bring them. I spare them now.

The valentines will never go my way. I will forever make people other happy every Hearts' Da but definitely can't make myself see the beautiful things it brings.

2007-02-13T19:22:00.000+08:00

"ELLIVHTUOS"
by: Pampam - 02132007

As I look beyond the ledge, I feel this indescribable sensation tickling my whole self.

I see him walking towards that place.

And I ran out of things to say.
And I slowly fear eating myself alive.
But it seems like I would love to stop the time.
And just let my hungry eyes land on only you.

My heart begins to beat faster.I'm falling down again.

He's the one I'm dreaming of.He amazes me.

And I constantly think about him.I do understand now.

Though I've never felt this way before, I'm damn sure of it.

I wish I could be the one.He lingers on my mind like how a guitar is stuck with its strings.

But a beginning is yet to be made.

I want to wake up with him during sweet mornings.

I want to be with him during romantic nights.

I want to sing him songs or love.

I want to walk with him hand in hand.

I see his eyes in the sparkling diamonds in the sky every single night.

I see his face in the beautiful spectacle of the moon.

I see his smile whether my eyes are widely opened of dreamingly closed.

But has he ever thought of me?

Does he ever think of me?Will he ever think of me?

Three questions freely run though my mind.

Yet only to be answered by one short, plain-and-simple, pain-excruciating and heart-ripping word: NO.

2007-02-11T18:31:00.000+08:00

Aww. FUCK. I DREAMT OF ANDREW'S DEATH.

Anyway, why the fuck was I crying when I woke up? Oh myself. Exaggg, gagi. I woke up with tears in my eyes. Amp.

Oh yeah, I texted him as soon as I woke up. There were like a couple or more messages sent to him. The message really sounded desperate and if there was a word to exaggerate desperate, that would be it. I was like, "Drew, if you receive this message, kindly reply. Please. I just want to know if you are alive/okay/whatever. Thanks. Please. Seriously, please reply. Thanks a lot."

He hasn't replied until now. Well, I am not a believer of dreams so I think he's okay. Di ko lang alam talaga bakit ganun ako kinabahan.

Hmmn. I do wish he's doing fine and he'll do fine.

2007-02-10T18:33:00.000+08:00

I just got home from CAT Training in Camp Crame and strolling in ATC. Amp. Ang weird. Gagi. We, the Foxtrot Company, were given 95% and all demerits were cancelled for our performance today. Whoa. Its so cool. Man, kasi, if you only knew how we were branded as the worst section of all times, amp. You wouldn't really expect us to be given this stuff right now.

Kewl.

I got a crush on someone. No, not that dude you guys know. You know, the one I'm admiring from "afar". Its way farther na this time.

Hehe.

Another thing, I was promoted to Sergeant. Aww.

2007-02-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

Third Place ako sa Elocution. Man. Loved it. Considering it was my first time? Man. Loved, loved, LOVED IT!!!

First Place - Anthony Borja, Speech of Defense by Jose Rizal
Second Place - Robert Hector Palomar, The Death Penalty by Victor Hugo
Third Place - Dianne Zamora, A Matter Taste by Matthew Sutherland
Third Place - Maria Pamela Ann Cayanan, I Have a Dream by Martin Luther King Jr.

2007-02-05T22:01:00.000+08:00

Wah. The Public Speaking is tomorrow. Die Pampam, Die!!!

2007-02-04T10:58:00.000+08:00

From my Question Box for the I don't know period: (Ang tagal din nun hah, may mga agiw na nga eh)

Pam this is your blog! This is dru! Ernest told me about it!
Tanong ba yan?! Hi Ern.

2007-02-04T10:39:00.000+08:00

BIVOUAC 2007, February 2, 2007

Dude, SCOUT RANGERS kasama namin!!!

It is sad to say that we only have one day for our BIVOUAC. Hmmn.

36 students went.

The event was shared by Las Pinas and Sta. Ana.

Slide for Life: Slide down a rope of over 50 ft. high. I was the first kid to try that. :D

Agriculture: We planted Lettuce and harvested them too. But not the crops we planted.

Obstacle Course: I am an obese and I am lucky to have Robert as my Obstacle Buddy. Haha. :D If I can't do it, he has to do it twice. So it was like he ran through the course twice. Hey, I did some things there, too. Promise. At least I tried going over the courses I know I can't.

Three Rope Course: Three ropes - came and passed through it. Two ropes (vertical) - came and passed through it. Two ropes (horizontal) – came and quitted halfway. One Rope – never came, never tried, I know I can never do that.

Rapelling: DUDE, ANG SARAP!!! :D Expert daw ako sabi ni Scout Ranger. Amp.

BR>
After the BIVOUAC, Ernest and I went to Southville for the concert. I wasn't really going there because no one will pick me up. Bea was there too. Well, she said she'll make hatid me home so I stayed for the concert. But when we were there she said she can't so I just rushed home with a cab right after she told me that. Sayang yung PhP250 ko. I only saw MYMP. Argh. It's not even in my plans to see any of the bands there, kaya sobrang sayang nung money.

I woke up 05.45 AM the next day. I thought I will be late for the Camp Crame CAT training, but I wasn't. Whoa. Buti nalang, nakapagfive hours marching pa ako.

Right now? I got pain lingering in my upper body. Whoa. Kailangan ko ng ALAXAn!!!

2007-01-31T22:13:00.000+08:00

I HAVE A DREAM
by Martin Luther King Jr.
(Abridged for declamation time constraint)

Ladies and gentlemen:

Five years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity. But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination.

One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So, we have come here to dramatize a shameful condition.

This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigoration autumn of freedom and equality. 1963 is not an end but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needs to blow off steam will have a rude awakening of the nations returns to business as usual. There will neither be rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwind of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the progress of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high planes of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majesty heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. Go, I say to you, my friends, that even though we must face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed – we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal. I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, some of former slaves and former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day, even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression; will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I HAVE A DREAM THAT MY FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WILL ONE DAY LIVE IN A NATION WHERE THEY WILL NOT BE JUDGED BY THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN BUT BY THE CONTENT OF THEIR CHARACTER.

And this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning- "My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing! Land where my father died, land of the pilgrim's pride from every mountain side, let freedom ring!" -and if America is to be a great nation, THIS MUST COME TRUE.

I thank you.

Whoah. Man, really, for the first time in my life, I will join the elocution!!!

2007-01-30T19:31:00.000+08:00

Okay.

Someone said that "NAGPAPASAYAW" daw ako kay Paul Mendoza, from Angeles, on the Prom Night. Whoah.

Kay Bert nga na sobra ko na minahal eh never ko inask from my friends na "IPASAYAW" ako kay Bert eh. Whoah. Tapos si Paul? Amp. Dehins ko pa nga nakikita personally yun.

Hay. Sige na, I'm a bitch na. Nakakahiya sa girlfriend ni Paul naman. And yeah, knowing na syempre, ang laki naman ng ginanda sa akin nun, I don't have anything to show her when she asks me why am I asking for Paul to dance with me.

How I wish I was just beautiful and sexy and pretty so I could handle this easier.

2007-01-29T19:29:00.000+08:00

The weekend went nice. :D It was magical. Haha. Exxagg. Haha.

I have a school. In a few months, I will be A PROUD THOMASIAN AT 400. :D Weee. :D

Anyway, I still have this little dilemma though, I passed both BIO and LM. I do not know which one to choose. I both love them. If only I could take both. At the same time, I mean.

Hay. I still have like 3 months before the date I need to report in UST. :D

2007-01-28T07:18:00.000+08:00

We had our first ever CAT training in Camp Crame yesterday.

Man, it was HELL FUN!!!

I went to school at 5.00 AM because they said that we will leave at 6.00 AM. But we left at 6.30 AM and were caught in a traffic jam near Crame then we arrived there at 7.15 AM. We were fortunate to not be sanctioned though. Actually, we were damn fortunate.

After the training, I had to fix the rifles back in Las Pinas. Anyway, DID YOU KNOW THAT MY RIFLE NUMBER IS "007"? Cool eh? LICENSED TO KILL. Haha. Wala lang.

Man, majority of the class were too tired to even stand up. haha. I was amazed by myself. I was still able to go to ATC after and I was with Ern, Kesh and Bert. Bert went home ahead of us. Hmmn. I didn't see any OB kids from our batch there.

Takeshi has soooo many KOREAN friends, man. :D He was like saying hello to ever Korean we see. Amp. Oh yeah, I saw Andrew there too.

2007-01-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

I don't think things are going the way I want them too.

I went to Tito Mon, the one who'll make my gown. I gave him my design, whoah, he changed it. It wouldn't be that "bagay" for me daw since I am fat. Well, he used the phrease "on the bigger side" to lessen the cruelty. But I really don't care. I could be called fat, fat-ass, pig, Hulk's Sister etc. I call myself those names and I don't think I am mean because that is reality. The only reason others think it is mean is because the perception of their mind is like that. They give the mean meanings to those words that are supposed to only describe a person's features. :D

Math and Statistics exams tomorrow. I honestly do not think I will pass it. Darn me.

Ernest said I have fallen for him. Man, I do not know him that well. Actually, I only know him by his name. So I couldn't fall for him. And I am sure I won't. Haha. He doesn't even care about my existence.

Sana lang makausap ko na ulit sya at makita. :'(

2007-01-24T18:02:00.000+08:00

I might be wrong with my previous post after all. He remembers me. Whoah. @.@

2007-01-23T18:49:00.000+08:00

Totoo naman yung sinabi ko dati na kung iba akong tao, isa akong maganda at balingkinitang nilalang at hindi ako si Maria Pamela Ann J. Cayanan, maalala niya ako. Pero ako si Pam, ako ay kung sino ako, (kahit na ayaw ko), kaya wala. Hindi niya ako kilala. Hindi niya ako piniling kilalanin.

Tama naman yung mga sinabi kong iyon. Napatunayan ko na lahat ng iyon.

PUTANGINA.

2007-01-21T21:06:00.000+08:00

Haay. Man, Pare, Shit.

I hate signs. FUCK SIGNS. Pare, puta, FUCK SIGNS!!!

Why do they have to come and then nothing will happen? Argh. I should've stuck with my beliefs, with my own beliefs, and never let anybody influence me about believing in signs. I hate myself for believing in them. I prayed for them but God has other plans for me. Maybe I am really better alone. Maybe that is His plan for me. I can never ever turn that around, He knows what is good for me, He knows what is BEST for me. God will never let me down. If by giving me the signs and not fulfilling what I've risked for put me down, I know for sure, that in the long run, I will be thanking Him my whole fucking life for not fulfilling those. I have my faith in Him. And even though I asked Him for those signs, He is the one I should believe.

Why does he (kindly notice the uncapitalized letter. Thanks.) have to be that damn nice? Argh. :(

2007-01-19T19:03:00.000+08:00

Hey. I've been a bad blogista for the past days. I'm sorry for not updating stuff about my life and sometimes, others' lives too.

Let us see…

Hmmn. As for the week, there was really nothing special that happened. But last week, I had my first taste of the beach. Yes, my first ever trip to the beach. Unfortunately, I wasn't with my family or anybody blood-related to me. Yet on the bright side, I was with my four best friends. Whaw. I was with Angel, Nicole, Eba(kla) and Ernest. How cool is that DUDE / MAN / PARE?! Nicole invited us to spend a Saturday with her and her family at Punta Fuego. Whaw. Rich kid. :D It was freaking fun! Haha. :D The trip was sooooooo fun. :D

Then for this week, I'm damn sick and I blame the aircon for that. Or my damned room for not being clean. You see, I sleep in my Tita's room along with my brother. So we squish ourselves together in that queen-size bed. One night, I slept in my room and I blame the freaking dust and dirt for messing up with my system and for giving me an allergic rhinitis. F*ck that, pare. Argh.

So for the whole week, I am sick. Along with the colds are the cough and the fever and of course, along with those is my very, very irritable feeling. Argh. Man. Hell. Anyway, I bought my meds last Wednesday and was surprised to know that one of them costs PhP131.

To add something more, man, I'm dead tired of the things running through my head. I just can't put it all out here. I'd rather keep it to myself. Oh yeah, the one I tell you I think is cute? I think I saw him last Tuesday playing with a PVC pipe-ish thingy like he's a jedai(?). I wasn't sure though if that was really him. I've been spending my free time, break time, lunch time and all the time I get looking over the ledge and unfortunately not getting a glance of him. Putek.

2007-01-10T22:19:00.000+08:00

Amp. Nakakaenjoy lang sumagot ng ganito. Wala ako magawa. Imbes na mag-aral ako, eto ginagawa ko. Pwedeng pang-Model Student diba?!

~IN A BOY~

LONG HAIR, SHOT HAIR or BALD?

-> LONG HAIR. :D Hahaha. :))

TATTOOS OR NO TATTOOS?

-> Having tattoos would do and not having tattoos would do either.

PIERCINGS OR NO PIERCINGS?

-> If he never had, had, has, will have, I'll find nothing wrong about it. :)

LIKES KIDS OR DOESN'T LIKE KIDS?

-> He should like kids. How will he like me then?

GHETTO OR PREPPY?

-> Ano yung ghetto at preppy stuff na to? Anyway, I want a tough guy. :D

LOVER OR FIGHTER?

-> A fighter for the foes and lover for the family and both for me. :D

CAR OR NO CAR?

-> Kahit wala.

SWEET OR MEAN?

-> Mean. Super konting part lang yung sweet sana.

WORKER OR LAZY?

-> WORKER OF COURSE!

EYE COLOR?

-> Any. Kahit wala pang pupils. Mas masaya yun. Weirdo. :))

HEIGHT?

-> I just want him to be like at least 3 inches taller than I am.

WEIGHT?

-> Any. Basta kaya niya i-handle sarili niya in terms of his weight.

PARENTS HOUSE OR HIS OWN HOUSE?

-> It's better if he stays at his parents' house.

SPENT ALL HIS MONEY ON YOU OR SOME
MONEY?

-> He'll spend, I'll spend, we'll spend. :D

STRICT OR LOYAL?

-> LOYAL. :)

2007-01-09T19:06:00.000+08:00

Can you name 13 people you can think of right off the top of your head?Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 13 people...This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first...No Cheating!!!

1. Ernest Sy
2. Joanne Roxas
3. Andrew ni Tani
4. Nicole Dias
5. Angel Yu
6. Paulo Ebon
7. Tani Carino
8. Justin Fuentes
9. Nico ni Nicole
10. Justine Gonzales
11. Kim Tandog
12. Bea Kho
13. Anna Paras

How did you meet 12?
* In school. I met her when we were freshmen. We were classmates.

What would you do if you had never met 4?
* Whatever I am ought to do in life. Dude, if I never met her, what am I supposed to do, I don't know she exists if I never had a chance to meet her. But if I'll imagine life without meeting her with the idea in my mind that she exists as the one I know now, I’ll be extremely sad.

What would you do if 6 and 2 dated?
* I'll be happy for them. Buahahahah!!!

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
* Yeah. J

Do you think 1 is cute?
* HELL NO!

Tell me something about number 11..
* She'll give up her life just to have straight hair. I think. Hehe.

How did you get to know 6?
* Kasi, sa kaharian namin, nakita ko sya. Eh pareho kaming mga prinsesa, pero prinsipe pa sya non… I met him in OB. Cool. I'm so happy to have met him/her.

Would you ever go on a date with number 3?
* WTF?! Bakit nalang?!

What's 7's favorite color?
* Pink?

What would you do if 8 confessed they liked you?
* Ka-imposiblehan.

Facts about 9:
* Smart Kid. He's from Philippine Science.

Who is 7 going out with?
* As of now? Err, no one. Single si Kuya Tani. Sa sinuman na makakabasa nito, ihanap niyo syang girlfriend. Hehe.

Who is number 5 to you?
* My Kikay FACer Whore-ish Beautiful Bestfriend. Hehe.

Would you ever live with 13?
* Sure.

Is 2 single?
* Minsan hindi, minsan oo. Hahaha.

Where does 7 live?
* Tahanan.

What do you think about 3?
* I think he has this beautifully managed and naturally straight hair he flips every chance he gets. And yeah, his hair is longer that mine. And more beautiful. Nakakaasar diba? Mas maganda buhok sakin ng lalaki kahit lalaki din ako. Ano kamo?

What's the best thing about number 8?
* He has longer hair than I do?

What do you like about number 10?
* Her Happy Feet moment.

Favorite Memory with 4?
* When she told us "THAT" secret. :D

2007-01-09T19:02:00.000+08:00

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Opening Credits: Untitled - Finch

Waking Up: Stick Wit U – Pussy Cat Dolls

First Day of School: Don't Speak – No Doubt

Falling in Love: I Want To Save You – Something Corporate (Whaw. Sakto!)

Fight Song: Hair – The Early November

Breaking Up: Out of Control - Rufio

Prom: For Once In My Life – Tony Bennett / Stevie Wonder (Aww. Nakaka-in love.)

Life's just ok: I'm Not Okay (I Promise) – My Chemical Romance (Eto ang the best! Saktong sakto man! Gagi.)

Mental Breakdown: Crazy For You - Madonna

Driving: This I Promise You – 'N Sync

Flashback: Andito Ako Kung Saan Wala Ka – PIPINGPOOT (Ah, hindi ito kanta. Boses lamang ito ng isang kakilala.)

Getting Back Together: A New Tatoo - Urbandub

Birth of Child: Knockin' On Heaven's Door – Eric Clapton

Wedding: You Are Not Alone – Michael Jackson

Final Battle: How Does It Feel - Sugarcult

Death Scene: All We Wanna Be – Long Shot Hero

Funeral Song: Memory – A Heartwell Ending

End Credits: Steep – Lauren Christy

2007-01-09T18:30:00.000+08:00

Random Thoughts. 09.01.2007. 11.00-13.00H

[] Naiiyak ako. Gusto kong umiyak.

[] I hate being in a VIP Area.

[] I hate traffic, who doesn't anyway?

[] I love Physics, Chemistry and Biology.

[] Whaw. I am an obese.

[] Ang tanga ni Ernest ngayon. Hmmn. D for Density has become Distance for him.

[] I love "The Acoustic Song" song.

[] I really think Mrs. Victa's a good teacher.

[] Physics namin ngayon. :D

[] I suck in drawing. I once drew something but it didn’t appeared to be that something.

[] "I'll stop the world and melt with you…"

[] What if I get pregnant by simply sitting on some sperm on some public toilet?

[] Virgin pregnancy.

[] I'm thirsty.
[] Nakakapagod mag-diet para sa ibang tao. Iyun lang daw kasi ang makakapagpasaya sa kanila.Ayaw ko na sumunod sa mga taong pinapapayat ako kahit ayoko. Pero gusto ko silang sumaya kaya ginagawa ko.

[] NO CLASSES TOMORROW!!! WHOOHOO!!!

[] Gusto ko na magkaperiod.

[] I enjoy the feeling when my abdomen's in pain.

[] I enjoy some kinds of physical pain given to me.

[] Heat of Fusion, Head of Vaporization. Wala lang. Gusto ko lang siyang isulat.

[] Angel is pretty.

[] Seatmates si Joanne at si Nicole ngayon. Nasa left table after mine sila.

[] Whaw. May alam pala si Shawe kahit konti.

[] Feel ko enjoy si Eba(kla) sa gift ni Angelique na lotion.

[] Atenista kids: Robert and Barcy. Nasa likod ko sila ngayon.

[] Minseun's curly hair looks flirty.

[] Ang daming mga taong tulala ngayon dito sa classroom.

[] Whaw. Nagnonotes si… AY! Hindi pala, nagdodrawing lang pala.

[] Ang tahimik ni Anna ngayon.

[] Jels looks like one heck of a super girly ugh, girl?

[] Whaw. May notes na.

[] Anna loves my name. I know that.

[] Eba(kla) smiles sweet. (HAHAHA!)

[] Ebon looks gay. (In both meanings)

2007-01-07T19:01:00.000+08:00

I failed the ACET.

I don't know why people wants me to be depressed about it. They are way more affected that I am. Haha.

For me, if I didn't pass, then I am not worthy of the slot, why try to be reconsidered then?

2007-01-06T12:05:00.001+08:00

I have a crush on someone. No, not really crush. I do not have a crush on him. I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM.

And this proves that I do make the best burgers in the whole world!!!

2007-01-06T12:05:00.000+08:00

I have a crush on someone. No, not really crush. I do not have a crush on him. I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM.

And this proves that I do make the best burgers in the whole world!!!

2007-01-03T19:33:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah. I forgot to greet my blog a happy new year.

Anyway, I will set myself some goals to follow for the whole year and some goals are set forever.

I want myself to be a better person. I mean, who doesn't, right?

From now on, it is a start of a new beginning. I will start from a new day. I don’t want to begin change with anything else but myself.

Yes, I will be true to myself.

Yes, I will shed some pounds off, for the sake of my parents who really wanted me to live a HEALTHY life. I want to make them happy.

Yes, I will be true to others and myself of what I truly want. But not really exaggerating the fact that I will only hear my voice. This is of course in consideration to others.

Yes, I will never partake in anything that could ruin my own reputation and family's reputation.

Yes, I will not be lustful anymore. Seriously. J Haha. From now on, I freaking swear to the Lord. Not to put His name in vain, but I really do.

Yes, I will move on. This is regarding Robert. I know I've said this a lot of times but hey, I never though it would take a New Year, maturity and a M----. ;)

Yes, I will spend more time making great realizations about my life and my life's wonders.

Yes, I will spend time more with the Lord.

Yes, I will improve my social consciousness.

Yes, I will appreciate my family, friends, surroundings, environment, life and self more, to the full extent of my capabilities.

Yes, I will be truthful to my resolutions this year.

I never made any resolutions before. But this year, I will try my beginner's luck*. Wish me luck too!

*Thanks to THE ALCHEMIST, I knew things about beginner's luck.

2007-01-02T19:19:00.000+08:00

I COOK THE BEST BURGERS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!

I SO DO!

BUAHAHAHAHAHH...

2006-12-29T16:21:00.000+08:00

This was supposed to be posted on the 26th but I was having a hard time with my DIAL UP PREPAID Internet. :D Here goes...

Happy holidays!

Two days have passed since Christmas day. I wasn't able to text or even reply to the messages I've received that very day because I had no credits left.

As usual, for 16 years already, we spent our Christmas there in Sta. Monica, Pasay and in D. Reyes, also in Pasay. Of course, it is the usual holiday routine. We spent our day with our relatives and looked back on the past year.

On that same day, Kuya Jonjon, now Ate Joanne, my beautiful and sexy transsexual uncle, called the teens of the family. He, though I prefer to refer to him as she, organized a little night out for us yester-night. Whaw. We chipped in our money and solicited from our elders to have a night out at Guilly's Island at MOA (as always).

I never had that much fun with my relatives for a long time now. it was so nice of Ate Joanne to have thought of that. Along with us were some of the boyfriends of my cousins and titas, then some of Ate Joanne's friends, the drag queens, the very, very beautiful drag queens and some of our elder relatives to. We drank we ate, some smoked, but really, nobody cared, because we were had so much fun. How I wish all families would experience that.

I wish to have that again soon. :D

I love my dearest pinsans, titas, titos, titos turned titas, friends, friendly friends. :D

2006-12-20T21:41:00.000+08:00

For the past days, to kick boredom straight up its ass, I went to the City Hall and did my LaMesa Watershed Campaign Project (which I made as a self-project to help declare the watershed a protected area. It is, by the way, a project of ABS-CBN Foundation Inc.,) and unfortunately, the results were worst than what I thought it would show. I went there after half a month of waiting for their petition papers. Man, how good are the employees? Are you sure you do want to know before you continue reading on.

The letter was dated November 29, 2006. Since there was the typhoon Reming, I was able to go to the City Hall and give out some of the letters and the following working day, Nanay Linda gave out the rest. I gave almost 90% of the offices in the City Hall. I gave out letters to Department Heads (some of them were even happy to meet Mrs. Cayanan's granddaughter but were really and deeply saddened of the fact that I am fat (me: what the FUCK!)), to the councilors, the vice mayor and the mayor.

When I gave out the papers, some were really accommodating, they seemed so happy and dedicated to their jobs, and some even appeared as if these words are painted in their faces: "Can't you see I don't like you? Go the hell away. Do not disturb me. I have lots gossips to lend my ears to." What a very effective Public Servant!

And the day before yesterday, I went back to claim the petition papers I asked them to sign, in the condition, if they want to save LaMesa Dam. Whaw. For the others' information, I would like to extend my gratitude to the departments who took time to READ and partake in the campaign. They even wholeheartedly delivered the letters back to grandmother's office. You know who you are. I am very, very thankful to you. As for my rags and all rags story, most of the offices I went in to yesterday, were not even told of the said campaign. And what a shame it is that they are the staff members of some of the city's councilors. And what a major shame it is that they didn't even take time to read my letter. If I were the councilor or the head of any office, not to be rude, but I will try my best to explain this out to my staff in the best and most euphemistic way as possible:

[] That it is such an embarrassment to have an employee who receives and receives letters but never reads them. You are given the position because your boss sees your capability to do that job well.

[] That the statement, "Sir/Ma'am, akala ko po kasi Solicitation Letter yan eh, kaya ko po hindi binigyang pansin" is worse than the statements (a) "Hindi ko talaga inuna kasi po meron pong mga bagay na dapat pang bigyan ng pansin muna," and (b) "Sir/Ma'am, masyado po kasing madaming sulat ang dumating, naguluhan po ako, pasensya na," because saying the first statement makes you nothing more than dumb or whatever is worst that that. It is well-evidenced that any of the two could be the reason why you crumpled it out: (a) you haven't read the letter yet and still you decided it is to be thrown or (b) you just couldn't understand the body of the letter and you were too ashamed to ask the others for a clarification or even a translation.

[] That even Solicitation Letters are to be given attention to. Soliciation letters are now given the wrong insight thanks to the opportunist people. Infairness to the real ones, I do believe that most of the solicitation letters right now still has the value of morality in them.
[] That in the receiving area, IT IS A MUST to read and understand each and every letter or paper that is being given to you before you sort them out.

[] That is it the heads of the offices who gets the worst impressions whenever their staff show incompetence. And this is most especially achieved if the people who give out their opinion regarding this are those who do not weigh the two sides first.

[] And lastly, that people who work in the government are hired to give service to the public, whether of any age, roots or lifestyle without second thoughts. They should be ready to help out in each situation and should be ready to entertain each kind of person who goes in their offices. People are born, raised and dying differently. People have different point of views, opinions and understandings. People have taken different paths and ways to be able to be where they are. But it should be in the heart of every public servant that they can go about each and every citizen no matter what his point is.

I wish I could tell this straight to their faces. Too bad they wouldn't even listen to me when I gave them the petition papers, how would they even lend me their ears if I were to do this?

2006-12-17T23:27:00.000+08:00

Para sa akin, isa ito sa mga araw na hindi ko malilimutan.

Sa maniwala kayo at sa hindi, AKO AT ANG AKING KAPATID AY NAATASANG SIMULAN ANG FIREWORKS SA SM MALL OF ASIA KANI-KANINA LAMANG. Meron lang kailangang pindutin si Anton sa kanilang laptop upang ito'y masimulan na. Whaw.

Sa totoo lang, hindi naman talaga ako ang taong humahanga sa fireworks. Hindi ko nga talaga maintindihan kung bakit pa ba naimbento ang fireworks, sa totoo lang kasi, mas madaming pwedeng gawin sa pulbura upang mapaganda ang ating mga buhay. Ngayon ko lamang tunay na napahalagahan ang fireworks. Nilapit pa nga kami ni Sir Paul sa lugar kung saan kaunti lamang ang nabibigyang pagkakataon na doon manood.

Mababaw lamang iyon kung tutuusin, para sa isang 16-taon-gulang na tulad ko. Ngunit hindi lahat ng tao ay nabibigyang ng ganong pagkakataon. At sa isang banda, hindi lamang ang pagiging isa sa daan-daang pwedeng gumawa noon ang dahilan ng aking pagiging masaya. Alam ninyo kung bakit?

Sa biglaang pagkakataon, nakatulong kaming magpasaya ng maraming tao sa pamamagitan ng isang pindot lamang.

Sino si Sir Paul?

Ay, isa siya sa mga empleyado ng SM Sucat noon nung kami ay nagkaroon ng Flick Sports Center Age Group Badminton Tournament na ginanap sa SM Sucat at sa Flick Sports Center (sumalangit nawa, (alam ng iba kumbakit)). Si Sir Paul ay isa sa mga empleyadong nasa mataas na posisyon kahit siya ay nasa murang edad pa lamang. Kasalukuyan siyang nakabase sa SM Mall of Asia.

Itineks siya ni Papa upang ipaalam na kami ay nasa Pier One at siya naman ay buong galak na sumunod doon at inaya kami ng kapatid ko para sa nasabi ko ng dahilan. Matapos nun, dinala kami sa isang magandang pwesto upang manood nito.

Lubos ang pasasalamat ko sa iyo Sir Paul. Nawa'y maging matagumpay ka sa lahat ng larangan at daang tatahakin mo! :D

2006-12-13T18:43:00.000+08:00

I was in an outreach program this morning. Some of the fourth year students and all the class mayors of the high school department went to the Asilo de San Vicente de Paul, UN Ave., Manila. We were with Mrs. Ricafort and Mrs. Magallanes. Man. It was unexplainable! It is an experience that I will surely remember for the rest of my life.

Of course, at first, we were all briefed about the Asilo. It has been running for almost a century. Imagine that. Whaw.

So there we were, realizing how lucky we all are and how lovely life really is for us. Those children are those left by their parents for different reasons, some abandoned them, some have died, some are incapable of raising them up.

This was the programme:
[] Invocation – Kuya Borja
[] Welcome Song of the kids =half of us were teary-eyed=
[] Storytelling of Ate Kym and Kuya Ernest =it sucked but it didn't=
[] Intermission by Ate Kym, Kuya Ernest, Ate Dewa and Ate Minseun
[] Game 1 – Stop Dance
[] Game 2 – Longest Line
[] Game 3 – Bring Me
[] Christmas Card Making =we asked the children to make cards for the social workers who takes care of them as a sign of their gratitude=
[] Gift Giving
[] Thank You Song of the kids =a lot of us CRIED=

Of course, we had to say goodbye to them. Yes, I did cry and whenever I look back on how happy the kids were given those simple things, I still shed tears. Not only because I realize that I am too lucky to be alive and be taken care of but also to have that wonderful feeling of sharing your blessings and touching the hearts of other people, especially the youth. And guess what, I am planning on going back there on Monday or Tuesday. Kung gusto ninyong sumama, dito niyo ako sabihan: 09275292875 / 09193583877

What struck me the most? Hmmn. They all did. But a certain boy, though I'm very particular with the name, I think its Irbeth or Ibith, I really am not sure because it wasn't that clear when he said it and it wasn't that common to be a guy's name. He was all out in dancing during the Stop Dance Game. He looked so happy. And at the end, when it was time to say goodbye, he came up to me and hugged me. It wasn't an ordinary hug. It was a warm hug full of gratitude. Whaw. I cried. I told him I will be back as soon as I can.

And you know what; it was so awesome to hear an 11 year old tell you this, "Ate, ipagdadasal kita at ang pamilya mo. Maraming, maraming salamat sa'yo."

Darn, I never thought I could make somebody this happy.

2006-12-12T22:07:00.000+08:00

The following students and I went to CAA this afternoon to help in the OB Pagsasarili School CAA Branch - Parent-Child Fun Day: Lopez, Lacnit, Reyes, Dias, Gonzales, Occeñola, Pollard, Gumatay and Palomar.

The Fun Day was, need I say this, FUN! It was hell fun. Helping out there was hell fun. :)

And of course, not to mention it, but I will anyway, the cadets who went there all got promoted two ranks higher. We are not CORPORALS. :D

2006-12-11T22:19:00.000+08:00

Oh dear. I can't basically put a finger on what really annoys me this past few months. They all come and go. Actually, they don't go, I just act as if they go. But sometimes, the thought of problems going away is another way of plainly not thinking about, meaning, you just let it swim through your mind but never really care about it. Do you get what I mean? The thoughts that bother you is the boomerang and you throw it away to somehow forget it and be busy with the others but then it still finds it way back to bother you again. For the record, yes, I do know that boomerangs do not really go back to you, let me just refer to it as if they do go back. You know, that typical boomerang urban legend.

Anyways, I do have a lot of problems but I DO NOT WANT to think about it. Because if I do, nothing good will happen, I know I have to somehow solve it, but I will be solving it one by one, piece by piece. There is no way I will solve it together, I have to somehw relieve myself first. And I really am not the sole proprietor of the other problems. I am just needed to solve it, to find a way for it to be eliminated. Whaw.

I'M A STRONG PERSON!
I live by my own code.
I can handle the toughest situations.
I can conquer the greatest fears.
I can shed no tears.
I can ignore any pain.

yet I do not know how you never fail to break me down...

*Hay buhay...*

2006-12-09T22:44:00.000+08:00

Magandang gabi!

Matagal-tagal narin akong hindi nakakapag-update dito. Hmmn. Bakit nga ba? Hindi naman sa madami akong ginagawa, ngunit kasama narin dito ang pagkaubos ng Internet Card ko. Walang pambili eh. Mahirap ang buhay.

Sa nakaraang mga araw, eto ang sinunod kong schedule:

November 27 – 28 --- Pinoy Media Congress 2006
November 29 --- General Assembly of Officers, Greenhills
November 30 --- No Classes (due to ST Reming) Went to City Hall to give out LaMesa Papers
December 1 --- Holiday. Bonifacio Day
December 5 --- Marketing at Divisoria for the Food Fair
December 6-7 --- Overtime, preparation for the Food Fair
December 8 --- HS Food Fair

Madami bang nangyari? Kung tutuusin, para sa iba, sisiw lang yan sa mga ginagawa nila.

Oh siya, mauuna na ako. Tumatakbo ang oras, kailangan ko pa itong sabayan. Sa uulitin!

2006-11-25T16:14:00.000+08:00

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I won't ever ask if you don't ever tell me
I KNOW YOU WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW YOU'LL NEVER LOVE ME

*** lyrics from Cute Without the "E" ***

2006-11-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

Whaw. Nanggaling akong Cuneta Astrodome dahil nanood akong PBA. Whaw. What a feeling, man! Gagi, naging GIRL ako pagkakita ko kay Arido. Hehe.

I went straight from school to my grandma's office. I do not want to get bored at home. I was with my brother and so as we passed by Cuneta Astrodome, I saw the huge PBA streamer or whatever to call it, and SAKTO, naka special ringside pa kami ni utol. Chamba! :D I watched it. Yes, I am really proud of the PBA. :) Hmmn. Mark Caguioa is the man! Hehe. I go for Barangay Ginebra, ah shempre, since I was a kid I was really an avid fan of the team. :) Gusto ko lang talaga si Arido. :) Anyway, I was just pissed with how this one player kicked the bottle of water on the floor. I don't know if it was on his way or in the bottom of his seat, but what I do know is that it isn't right to kick that. Tapos, yung mga magagaling na staff ng PBA, they tried to tell everybody, especially children to get out of the place near the SRS, yung parang mga porch-like steps where they can sit down. Damn them, how can they scold little children who keeps on going back when they can't even tell a grown up man, almost in his forties, to get his ass up and sit on the free sits somewhere else? Ang galing. Nairita nga ako eh. Feel nila. Tss.

Summing it all up though, I had a wonderful time. :) Thanks ulet kay Ninong Adonis, Tito Ariel, Ate Bhey at sa mga tao sa Astrodome. Much love! :D Feel ko bumati. :)

2006-11-23T17:37:00.000+08:00

I didn't go to school today because I was a) sick b) not really in the mood because it is a Thursday. Thursday do make me sick. It just does. You know that fact that Friday is coming your way and it's like the best day of all the weekdays because the next day is going to be a weekend? And yet you still have to take an hour each of Filipino, History, Physics and two hours each of Computer (which is really not my kind of thing) and Math? I can deal with Physics, I'll die for it. Math on the other hand, we all know I get moodswings in that subject. I like it and then I get pissed with it and then I like it again and I just deal better with Math than I do with Computer. Yes, damn it, I reallytalk too much! I guess I get emotional when I am sick.

My grandmother phoned me like and hour ago and asked me if I wanted to watch a basketball game in Cuneta Astrodome. It is a PBA game between I-was-not-able-to-get-who and another I-was-not-able-to-get-who again. I just told her I was sick and I wanted to just stay here at home. Though I really wanted to go, I just can't for a number of reasons: 1. I'm damn enjoying the bed; 2. I won't have anyone to jerk around with there or if I'll have it wouldn't be as happy if I got tens of them there with me; 3. its late, we all know why I skipped classes, to get some rest and 4. I'm just sick. And I am so NOT liking any moment of it. :(

Anyways, here are new set of questions for the past I-don't-know-what:

wow mali - mali pala un phrase ko. look good feel bad or look bad feel good i mean :)
Well, let us see, this is in accordance to the last 'malamang' question I answered. I'd choose the latter. ;)

If you really love someone, will you give up your life or everything for him? (not in the exact words)
No. I can't. If everything means really everything, I won't.And I am saying this because I know I will never be able to give out some parts of me for love. And we all know the love we are talking about right here, don't we? I do sound cruel but in some tests I've taken, psychology tests that is, I was resulted to have a CRUEL heart. Just take my family as an example, I just can't give them up for intimate love my hormones and I felt.

ikaw ba si pamela ann?
Depende kung sinong Pamela Ann tinutukoy mo. Pero kung kahit sino, OO, dahil parte ng pangalan ko ang Pamela Ann. 8)

pam, ano ung pinaka malaking bagay na pinagsisisihan mo ngaun?
Honestly, there really is nothing. Whatever I've become right now and whatever I'll become tomorrow and the days and weeks and months and years after it, it will always go back to what I did and who I was. I am Pam because of what happened to me in the past 16 years. Kung ano man yung ginawa kong masama o mabuti noon, I use it to reflect on and become a better person.

2006-11-21T22:10:00.000+08:00

Congrats kay Pacman! :D

Guess what, I was able to watch him, together with Oxxe, Ebon and Ernest, over his grand victory against El Terrible at the Cuneta Astrodome. Natuwa ako sa mga tao, they were chanting "Manny, Manny" even though he couldn't hear it. And I can definitely see the Filipino people united as one in support to Manny Pacquiao. We were actually moving like one person. :)

Pres. GMA's right, amidst everything that is happening now, "Manny remains an inspiration to us Filipinos."

The only thing that I do not like the most is being treated "abnormally" there. Yeah, a family member holds an office in Pasay City, thus the abnormal treating occurs. Yeah, I like the thought of being a VIP but I never liked they way people looked at you and treated you. Basta, ang baliktad kong tao noh? Ayun lang. Bye.

2006-11-14T20:53:00.000+08:00

Hmmn.

All the class officers in the HS department had a meeting this afternoon. Well, our school has a different kind of student council, classrooms/sections are supervised by the Class Mayors, year levels are supervised by Governors, branches are supervised by the Senators (HS) and Representatives (GS).

Wala lang. Since this is mostly about class officers and the like, I'll tell you this, Mrs. Ricafort re-appointed as the mayor of our class. Man. I am looking forward gruesome and painful days ahead. Darn it. I love being the class mayor. I just can't cope up with all the necessities and responsibilities I should fulfill. And yeah, I was elected as one of the senators of Las Pinas Branch. Come the 22nd of November, we will go to Greenhills to elect the student council and go through other agendas as well.

At the end of the day, we shouldn't be overly proud of what we have accomplished and done. Because after all, there are unlimited things we are all destined to complete.

"I am still a useless servant, oh Lord, for I still have a lot of things to do..."

I learned that during our mass this morning.

2006-11-14T00:37:00.000+08:00

Gaano mo kamahal si Robert?
+ Not as much as I did then. :D

Sinong mas maganda kina Ice at Dianne?
+ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. :D I do not seriously judge people by their looks because it will still be up to them on how they view theirselves, so why bother to make an opinion?

PAMMY!! Kung love mo ko, kilala mo ko?! Sino nga ba ko?!
+ Uhm, unang pumasok sa utak ko si Angel. :D

Ano kulay n underwear ko?
+ Ayon sa bolang kristal, and iyong thong ay kulay.. tenenen!!! EWAN!!!

If your going to choose one what will it be. Looking good outside but feeling good inside or feeling good inside and not feeling good outside?;)
+ Err, malamang lang yung LOOKING GOOD OUSIDE BUT FEELING GOOD INSIDE. Hitting two birds with one stone, diba?

Sino na mahal mo?
+ Err, si Robert padin. Pero hindi na ganung ka-love. I like some older man. And I really, really like him. Sounds weird, eh? Yeah, it is. :D I doubt it if he knows my name. I'm ready for what he really is to unfold before me and I'm ready to accept it. Tanga, noh? I can't explain it. Gusto ko sya, MORE THAN gusto ko sya. Basta, LESS kay Bert at MORE kay **. :D MAGULO!!!

Are you happy with your friends in OB?
+ Yes, of course. I wouldn't be the Pam I am now without them. They molded me and I molded them. For the past years, we've learned lots of important and valuable things from each other. I never found a reason to never be happy with them. EUPHORIA! If I could find the ultimate happiness word, I'd put it here. :D LOVE YOU GUYS. :D

2006-11-10T00:01:00.000+08:00

Yehey! May nag-ask na sa question box ko. Shucks, I am so happy. :D

And the first-ever, super-duper lalim question is.. (tentenennentenen!!!) *drumrolls please

HOW CAN PAM MAKE PAM A BETTER PERSON?

Alam mo, katoto, simple lamang ang sagot diyan. Kailangan mo lamang ay isang tasang baking soda, dalawampu't isang kutcharitang suka, isang boteng plastik (kahit tig-300 mL lamang, ok na) at isang lobong kulay PINK! Inuulit ko, PINK lamang, kung hindi, magiging isang kalokohan lamang ang gagawin mong eksperimento. Hindi ka mag-eenjoy dahil hindi iba ang kulay, manlulumo ka dahil hindi mo ako sinunod.

Ang lalim kasi ng tanong eh. Ang hirap sagutin. Pero honestly, simple lang naman ang sagot sa katanungan na yan eh, mahirap lang siyang gawin. Diba? If I'll make myself a better person, it is not really about how the others will think of me, my journey to my own wellness is my journey, may mga makasabay man ako, hindi naman nila maaayos buhay ko kung hindi ako desididong ayusin ito. GOOD is a very relative word, I may be viewing myself as a better person already yet others may still hate me for the fact that I am just being me.

Being a better person doesn't mean more victories than defeats, more success than failures or more people who loves you than who hates you. Being a better person is looking through what is yet to be seen. It is seeing things through a positive perspective. It is understanding defeats in a sense that it is only another reason for you to start again and it is viewing failures as lessons and reminders rather than the end of your world. ;)

2006-11-09T19:32:00.000+08:00

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" KO NA TODAY!!!

Aww, Philaine texted me her greeting at exactly 12.00 midnight and Ernest tagged me his/her greeting at exactly 12.00 midnight too!

I'm a year older and contrary to another post of mine, I am very thankful to have such fruitful year. I never realized I was so blessed for the past year. I have been failing for the past months but now I now that those are only failures, it is not the end of m world. I define myself, nobody else can. So, I better start planning ahead. I am already 16, I can make this world a better place yet I am only 16, nothing is ever too late. :D

Thanks for the greetings, gifts, love, care, friendship and everything guys! I love you! :D

MoA mode bukas!

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday, happy birthday...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

2006-11-08T20:12:00.000+08:00

I'm turning 16 hours from now. Actually, it is still more than a day before I officially turn 16 because I was delivered at 9.45 PM.

I do not have anything on my mind on how I'll celebrate my birthday this year. I don't want to give a big fuss about it because I don’t think I should be celebrating my existence. Yeah, I know, they've said that to me already. I don't appreciate life. Well, guess what, maybe I do, maybe I don't. It's all sitting down in me.

The family is putting pressure on me on how I'll go about my birthday. I don't know, I'm not that big party girl but I want to really throw up a simple one for my friends. Too bad it is still our 2nd Quarterly Exam. Man, we can't go out after school on the day itself so I am planning a night out with them on Friday maybe we'll go to Pier One, MOA.

I can't think of anything else. Wala akong ideas sa mga pag-paparty. KJ kid ako eh. Haha.

2006-11-07T21:51:00.000+08:00

Ang laki pala talaga ng nawala sa hair ko. I sat down in the back row of the class yesterday and there I realized how long the hair of the other girls were. I'm extremely happy to have cut mine! :D Actually, I have more reasons behind the haircut, to sum it all up, I just wanted to be a new person, I wanted to change, I wanted to forget, just GET OVER THE PAST and live a new life.

I brought my MAGIC notebook while I was pooping and I read my palanca letter for Robert. It was only now that I realized I was too sweet and emotional in that letter. Even I was surprised that I pulled that letter out for someone. Man. Para pala akong mamamatay dun sa letter na yun. Yung tipong bigla akong sinabihan ng ganitong tipong iskrip ng doktor:

Doctor: We are sorry, pero hindi na talaga magagamot ang almuranas mo.
Pam: Pero Doc, marami pa akong pangarap na bigo...
Doctor: Alam ko, Pam, alam ko. Ngunit wala na kaming magagawa sa almuranas mo, ito'y lubhang lumala na sa hindi pa na aabutan ng kahit anong kasasayang pang-medikal.
Pam: *Paiyak* Papaano? Papaano? Oh hindeeee!!!
Doctor: Oh oo, Pam, oh OO... *buntong hininga* Tatlong oras na lamang ang itatagal ng iyong excretory system, malapit naring bumigay ang iba mo pang lamanloob. Magpaalam ka na sa dapat mong pagpaalamanan, magpasalamat sa dapat mong pasalamatan. *Paiyak narin*
Pam: Salamat, Doc. Pinatagal mo pa ang aking buhay kahit man lang 30 minutes. Naiintindihan kong wala ka ng magawa. I understand you, Doc, I undestand you. *Hagulgol*
Doctor: Be strong Pam, be strong. *Inhales* Pasensya na... *Hagulgol*

Haha. I OVER-spilled my heart out in those pieces of paper. So, I'll go now and do my super late history homeworks. Hehe. :D

A picture of my MAGIC notebook:

2006-11-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

Oh yes, the haircut. (Kahit na alam kong nakita narin ng lahat ng tao sa pumupunta sa blog ko personally yung hair ko, dahil sila lang ang mgay tiyagang pag-aksayahan ng kanilang mga ginintuang panahon ang aking blog, i-popost ko narin.)

BEFORE...

AFTER...

2006-11-05T09:39:00.000+08:00

Magulo ang buhay ko ngayon. :D Gusto ko sya paguluhin. Paki nyo? Joke lang.

I had my hair cut... AGAIN, which is fourth in a row, in a month.

I got nothing more to say. Ahh, tinatamad ako gawin mga kailangan kong gawin. I don't want to go to school, dont want to make music, don't want to play badminton, don't want to go out. Gusto ko mabulok sa kwarto ko habang nanunuod ng House MD at Grey's Anatomy. Fuck.

2006-11-02T19:42:00.000+08:00

Text Messages GALORE!!!

"TWO LETTERS"
Dear Diary,
I saw him passing my ways. I don't know what to do. I used to smile and greet him but I feel so awkward so I looked the other way. Besides, he's the star of the basketball team, he'll never notice a geek like me.
Dear Diary,
I passed by the corridor and saw the pretty smart girl I usually sit with during chemistry. I tried to smile at her but she looked the other way. Besides, I'm just a guy who could shoot some hoops while she's this pretty honor student, she'll never notice a guy like me.

NO GUY IS WORTH A GIRL'S TEARS. The only one who's worth her tears is the one who knows he could make he cry but would never ever try.

It is not wrong to give it all when you love. It is not wrong to love a person so much. SOMETIMES THE ONE WRONG THING IS THE PERSON WE LOVE.

Matatago mo ang sakit, mapapaniwala ang iba na kaya mo. Pero hindi mo matatago sa sarili mo na ung taong nagpapahirap at nanakit sayo ay ang taong patuloy na tinitibok ng puso mo.

Always make your absence felt in such a way that somebody misses you but let not your absence be so long that somebody starts learning to live without you.

It is sad when you fall for someone and finally decided to stop because of the pain. You tell everyone that you've let go and moved on but deep inside you know, You HAVEN'T, YOU NEVER DID, and maybe, YOU NEVER WILL.

Mahirap magtago ng nararadaman lalo na kung alam mong bawal o hindi pwede pero may mga bagay na mahirap isantabi lang. minsan kasi, pag nagmahal ka, kahit WALANG PAGASA, hindi maiwasang mahalin mo parin ng sobra.

Never lose hope on the person you have chosen to love. If he could be the reason why you heart aches, who cares? He'd still be the very reason why your heart beats anyway.

The importance of something is seen when it's done. The worth of someone is realized when he's gone. For IT WILL ALWAYS BE A MYSTERY THAT WE REALIZE THE ESSENCE WHEN IT IS ALREADY A MEMORY.

Letting go might be hard yet the best ways to let another stay. Law of Impenetrability states that: NO TWO THINGS CAN OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE AT THE SAME TIME.

Ang paghihintay sa taong mahal mo na wala man lang balak kang mahalin ay parang paghihintay ng sasakyan mong jeep, yun nga lang, SA ISTASYON NG MRT.

2006-11-02T19:22:00.000+08:00

Galing ulit akong Lasalle Greenhills para sa Toby's Age Group game ng kapatid ko.

Amp. In a few days I will be turning 16 years old and today, I met some boys playing for 12 -Under category and was surprised because I thought of them to be playing for 16-Under. Whaw. I must've really missed on gaining height for the past few years.

I believe I have nothing more to say. Well, anyway, yeah, I think that sometimes it is really applicable to say the cliche "the more you hate, the more you love", only that I should change the L-word into another L-word: LIKE.

Happy Birthday Kuya Lloyd! (Escoses, that is.)
Ugh, yeah, and that is also if he still remembers me. ;) Never mind, my brother knows him and he knows my brother so I guess, yeah, never mind. Haha.

2006-10-31T21:18:00.000+08:00

Today, October 31, is the 25th birthday of Mr. Frank Anthony Iero. Yes, he is the one from My Chemical Romance. He plays the guitar there. Cool. I like him. He looks good. Damn good.

For the past days, I have been accompanying my brother in his games and tournaments.

We went to La Salle Greenhills today and yesterday and the day before yesterday and blah blah blah, basta palagi, for my brother's game.

My brother and his partner are the SILVER medalists of the recently concluded Yonex Sunrise Philippines National Open Badminton Tournament.

I like someone from LSGH. Hmmn. I know his name but for my own sake, I don't want to put it here.

!!!GO ANTON!!! !!!GO KYLE!!!

Happy Birthday Frank Iero.. :)

2006-10-24T19:26:00.000+08:00

I like him. I want to be like him. BTW, he is Dr. ROBERT Chase in the TV series HOUSE. Yeah, he is Jesse Spencer in real life. :D

Watch HOUSE MD. It is, ugh, lemme see, it makes me tick...

2006-10-23T20:08:00.000+08:00

Whoa. I haven't updated in for quite a while now, my dearest ladies and gentlemen.

Hmmn. So, you might be asking for anything that counts significant that happened. Let us start with today and we'll see it from there if I will be able to carry on and go backwards, you know, to the past.

Today, I think the most important thing that I have to tell you is I have received my long test result in English. Man! I got a whooping 72! Yeah, and Mrs. Ricafort even told us that she was freaking pissed and disappointed of the performance of the whole class in her subject. Whew. I was specially mentioned. People love me, need I say more? So is the special mention thingie quite intriguing? Okay, I'll tell it on! Going back, I told you that she ranted of how dismayed she was for the class's performance on her subject's long test. Here goes, "Class, I am so disappointed. My god, I already gave you the hand outs and the pointers. Halatang mga hindi nag-aral. Ang daming bumagsak, even Ms. Cayanan. My god…" Ooohh. I was never amazed if people call me "Miss".

Well, she has the right to tell everybody how I performed in her test, and yeah, even if she didn't, they'd find it out for sure. We all know I never stop talking. Whatever it is about, even if it brings my own reputation down, if I really do that, I do say it and yeah, proudly. And it really wouldn't be a problem too if I tell a teacher or whoever he is in the republic or the royalties of my unpleasant works and deeds.

But there is surely one thing I forgot to tell everybody, well, because I thought they'd know it already. *Sighs*. I even expected psychology majors to know this more than anybody. I screw up too, you know. I might appear too good to you, but hey, you know what, I just ain't. Oh goodness.

You know what's harder than expecting? It is being expected.

2006-10-15T20:34:00.000+08:00

Hmmn. It was quite a long weekend.

Actually, it kinda ended only now. Kakauwi ko lang kasi hinatid ko si Ernest at Ebon. Haha. Ernest was here at home since Friday and Ebon was here since yesterday. :) Cool, isn't it? Amp. :D

Friday night: Ernest and I enjoyed ourselves by watching Bring It On: All or Nothing for the nth time. We were eating KFC's Extreme Hotshots without any liquid around. Though eventually my brother became too "spiced up" so he got us all a can of soda. Oo nga pala, it was Justine's aka Mega's aka Shawie's, birthday party din. So galing kami dun ni Ern. Hindi na nakapunta si Ebon dahil nga nanuod syang concert sa Southville.

Saturday morning: We went up to Tagaytay. Dun sa project ni Papa. Amp. Pukeng yan, nastuck ako sa loob ng bathroom nung nirerenovate na house ni Papa. Puke talaga. Haha. It's not like I panicked or anything. Bakit nalang ako lang yung naiihi kasi eh?! Amp. Haha. So, there. I couldn't freak out or anything inside because I was certain that my dad can get me out there. Haha. Talk about he being contractor and working in the construction site for more than I can remember and his bunch of laborers working their asses all day long. See? I got none to worry about, bitch! Haha. Bakit nalang may bitch? Oh, I was with Ernest 3 straight days. It makes sense now.

Saturday night: After Tagaytay, we headed to MOA to buy my brother new rackets. He is participating Toby's Open Age Group Tourney and Yonex Open Age Group Tourney this month. We ate and walked and then finally Papa met up with Tito Dong and Tito Vic to drink. We stayed in Pier One for like until 11. Ebon arrived at home at 9.30. Hehe. Nag-intay nanaman si Bakla. On our way home, we were stuck in the traffic jam caused by the El Shaddai dudes worshipping Mike Velarde. We got home roughly 12. We watched White Chicks and ate Fun Shots because we learned our lesson last night regarding KFCs wonderful delicacies. See Extreme Hot Shots.

Sunday: We were total bums in the house for like until 3pm. We started the day with breakfast, pero nauna si Ern kumain dahil tulog pa kami ni Ebon. After Ebon and I ate, we watched World Trade Center and then ate lunch and then fixed ourselves and then go to SM (BTW: I ghad my haircut. Courtesy of Kuya Ryan ulet ng FIX SM Sucat) and then they went home.

Ayun lang. I am so looking forward in spending my SemBreak with those two assholes. Hehe. ;) Ernest even asked my grandma if they can still stay here after we finish school. Oh man. Haha. Astig. :D

Amp. Man, I'm totally insane.

2006-10-11T21:53:00.000+08:00

I made this image out of strong, mixed emotions of love, hatred, pain, confusion, longing and hope.

Sorry, I really am not that into the artsy, bitsy of pieces. My creativity sucks. And so do I.

It's all part of life.

Ampp. Bakit nga pala Friday, tamang tanong. Well, because that picture was taken September 8, Friday.

I still cry myself to sleep...

2006-10-11T19:52:00.000+08:00

Dumaan akong RUINS before I went home and bought CDs and DVDs, malamang lang. Yeah, and I also had the songs of my father burned. Amp.

CDs / DVDs I bought:
1. Razorlight - Razorlight
2. Panic! At The Disco - A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
3. Dashboard Confessional - Dusk and Summer
4. Taking Back Sunday - Louder Now
5. A Heartwell Ending - A Heartwell Ending (me: Sexxxyy voices...)
6. Various Artists - Bossa n' Marley
7. Various Artists - VST & Co. Bossa Nova
8. Sitti Navarro - Caffe Bossa
9. House MD - Seasons 1 and 2
10. Entourage - Seasons 1 and 2

Hmmn. Now I have more reasons to miss school and just stay home and have a Dr. House MD marathon yet I can't miss school. For example, this morning, I slept early, EARLY MORNING, and woke up early too, 4 AM to 6 AM. You might think it does suck but hell no. It fucking doesn't. I arrived late for school despite of the reason I was already awake 6 in the fucking morning. For two hours, I was just lying there waiting for the world to give me a very good offer. But it failed me. Haha. Oh dear.

I still cry myself to sleep...

2006-10-10T21:57:00.000+08:00

Hmmn. Ayaw ko padin pumasok bukas. Give me a reason to be enthusiastic again. :'(

Amp. We had our "Graduation Solo Portraits" taken today. Hmmp. I sure do not look like a guy there. I was smiling like a whore. Okay, not a whore, basta, I looked like I was in total KILIG while smiling. Amp. Kulet, diba?

Random kaka-kilig / kaka-gulat / kaka-"ugh, okkay?!" comments: (me: hihi :">)

"Wow Pam, ang ganda mo, babae ka na. Mag-ayos ka nalang everyday bagay sayo pag nakalugay. Ang haba na pala ng hair mo..." (me: Aww... Sweet...)

"Hindi. Lalaki padin yan." (me: Sabi ko nga. Amp.)

"Totoo naman Pam, ang pretty mo." (me: Aww... Bakit girls humanga? So, lalaki talaga ako?)

"I like the pretty Pam better than the muscular one." (me: Aww Barbaruh. :D)

"Yuck Pam, bading ka na. Bakit ka nagme-make up? Bading." (me: Nice Oxxy. Amp.)

"Bakit wala kang necktie? Diba required yung boys?" (me: Erna comment. Baklang comment.)

The Best Comment:

Joanne: "Bakit Bert, hindi ba maganda si Pam?"

Bert: "Hindi. GWAPO yan eh. Lalaki yan."

He wasn't that spontaneous in answering that yet he had been to straightforward. Natigilan ako sa tanong ni Joanne, mas natigilan si Bert sa tanong ni Joanne pero pinakanatigilan si Joanne sa sagot ni Bert.

So?